(and yes the main singer has a haircut like the villain from the 5th Element)
I may have the favorites wrong … two of them said the same band, and that’s just no fun. One more band we didn’t see, but I like this song and look at those silly bearded canoe-lovers.
It turns out my buddy Juicebox finds people calling the Spurs boring annoying. I am currently watching the game (is watching the right word? It makes it seem like I’m not prying my fingernails off), and I wanted to write a post in honor of this thing he finds annoying.
I don’t actually care about basketball that much. When I watch, I root for the Suns, so I don’t like Robert Horry. And the Spurs still hurt a little because of the year they knocked out the Suns (and the controversy surrounding it).
That’s not what I’m here to talk about though. I’m here to talk about why the Spurs are more boring than a coworker’s dogs medical history. This was very difficult to come up with, but here are five things that are as boring as the Spurs.
In reality, I way over-explained my actual opinion on why the Spurs are “boring” to Juicebox. I explained way past the point of his caring, but I thought it was accurate and a good explanation, so here it is again.
The Spurs are boring to MOST people watching the NBA finals. Why? Because most people watching aren’t big NBA fans. I really like, and know, football. Baseball is second. If I go to a baseball game and it’s a great pitcher’s duel – only four hits all game and the game ends 1-0 … that’s probably boring to most people. But you know what? Because I know the sport, I appreciate the talent that led to that happening.
The Spurs are very methodical, smart, organized, and they execute well. As someone who doesn’t care about the NBA, this is incredibly boring. I want stupid antics, over-the-top personalities, and nonsense. I don’t want to have to admit these things, because that means I’m into DRAMA … but you know what? That’s what people are hoping to see. Lebron causes conversations, Tim Duncan causes naps.
Face it folks, we want the drama. If we didn’t, the Spurs wouldn’t be BORING, they’d be amazing.
In some college, right now, there is a young man who will one day be regarded as the greatest American novelist since (insert name here). He shows signs of his brilliance right now, but he’s a little too concerned with college-y things to really be the novelist he will one day be.
But, in the future, his books will come out and shake the world. People will read and fall in love with him. They’ll have this desire to know more and more.
Somewhere, some publishing house will think, “well, why not give them more? We’ve got books that are the letters of Hemingway, Fitzgerald, Dos Passos, why not him?”
Below is a sampling of the types of notes this book would contain.
The Facebook Love Letters of (so and so), 2011 – 2014
Note 1:
Hey what’s up. Last night was a ton of fun. We should get drunk and make out again. Just kidding. Well, about the getting drunk part. Unless you have to get drunk to make out with me … which I’m sadly very ok with.
Note 2:
Man, it’s crazy. I don’t just want to physically bone you, I also want to emotionally bone you. That’s never happened before. You should come over so we can physically bone, then emotionally bone, then physically bone again. Then take a nap. Then get some burgers and do some more emotional boning. That’d be awesome.
Note 3:
I didn’t know holding hands could make me so happy.
I miss you.
Note 4:
That halloween party was so much fun with you! You looked super hot as a sexy criminal defense attorney. I’d commit crimes just to be with you. What? Yeah, I’d break the law for you.
Note 5:
Every time I kiss you, it just makes me want to kiss you ten times more.
Which reminds me, could you pick up some chapstick for me next time you go to the grocery store?
DumbFunnery 