The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

A well-known case of a daily procedure was Steve Jobs and his daily wardrobe (others are in this category, and it’s talked about some in this article). One of the ideas behind why a self-imposed ‘uniform’ of sorts is a good thing is because it saves brain power.

Famous people aren’t the only one who have their tricks and gimmicks to save mental energy (and probably it helps avoid mistakes too).

  1. My dad has the exact same nightly routine of grinding coffee beans and setting up the coffee machine so that he just has to push the Go button the next morning.
  2. When I shower I wash everything in the same order. (I started this in high school when I would be half-asleep when showering and realize I didn’t remember if I’d already washed my arms or my legs or whatever, so a set routine would answer that question because if I was on X body part it meant I’d already washed body parts Y and Z.)
  3. If I have to remember to take something to work I will put whatever items they are next to my wallet. When I inevitably just move the items out of the way and forget them (this happens half the time), the next day I put sneakers in front of my door and the items on top of those so I have to break out of my morning routine trance to move the items.

 

What about you, what are your little tricks/gimmicks/routines that keep your organized, efficient, and/or thinking less?

You may have noticed when calling a lot of large corporations these days that the customer support has changed. In place of being connected straight away to a person, you answer a few automated prompts.

“Thank you for calling .. Comcast! Customer service is … important to us! Please state the reason for this call!”

That’s when you’re expected to say something like “bills” or “tech support” or “change plan” or who knows what else.

I’m going to let you in on a little secret – the system is even more complex and convoluted than you ever thought.

Here’s what they’re not telling you

You remember those old computer text prompt games? For example, Colossal Cave Adventure? In these games you received text descriptions and you responded to the game with a set of commands.

Modern customer service is actually an audio based version of a prompt game. If you’re not getting the help you deserve, try some of these shortcuts.

“Thank you for calling .. Comcast! Customer service is … important to us! Please state the reason for this call!”

“Search room”

“In front of you there is a gathering of inpatient customer service representatives. To your left you see a door that says ‘helpful people.'”

“Open door”

“The door is locked. You will now talk to our worst agent.”

Huh. That didn’t work. Ok, how about this.

“Thank you for calling .. Comcast! Customer service is … important to us! Please state the reason for this call!”

“Grab lantern”

“You are holding a lantern. There is an ON/OFF switch. It is currently OFF.”

“Turn on lantern”

“With the light you can now see that the entire room is full of clowns, laughing and pointing at you. You retreat in fear.”

“Stop retreating in fear”

“Command not recognized.”

“Flee room of my own volition”

“Command not recognized. Our worst agent is on the way to support you.”

Welp. I tried.

Attn: Ellen (7/30/14)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres Postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres Postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Do you think the first chiropractor was just a really bad assassin?

Picture this: you’re home in a deep sleep. You wake up and feel something around your head and neck! Fear has immobilized your body but all you wish you could do is to scream or move or fight back and suddenly there’s a violent movement and … No! … This is the end! … This … Hey, that actually felt pretty good. The mysterious figure tries again the other way and … whala, what relief.

In the end you throw the stranger some money and also get a back massage.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com or @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?