The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Attn: Ellen (9/15/10)

September 15, 2010

Front

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

As an FYI, the postcard is from the Witte Museum in San Antonio. It is from the Hertzberg Circus Collection.

The text of the postcard is:

.

Dear Ellen,

My dream is to be a published author, and my sister’s advice is: ‘get on Ellen! She’s awesome!’

I listened to friends advice – and I’ve started a blog called GetBradStanleyPublished.com. The blog

is goofy and fun, and it’s got all kinds of oddball goodness.

I’m writing now because I’m finally taking my sister’s advice. I’m hoping to grab your (or more

likely an intern’s or bored security guard’s) attention and get you to check out my site.

Until the next begging postcard!

GetBradStanleyPublished.com

P.S. If you’re lucky the next postcard may even involve pleading and imploring. Oh boy!

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Attn: Ellen

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Attn: Ellen (About)

It feels cheesy writing postcards asking/pleading/whatever-ing for help from a person I don’t know. Really it’s awkward asking a favor of anyone. But (and this is to console myself) – I’m sure people have helped me in the past without my asking for it, and people will again in the future. I enjoy being able to help people when I can (most of the time) and so … well, like I said … this paragraph is to console myself. Rambling makes me feel less like a cheese-ball?

(*Note – the stuff below is basically on the Page/Tab above in case you just want to check it out there.)

This idea has been in my head for a long while. I like the idea – so of course I was never happy with any approach I tried. But doing this has stayed on my to-do list and I finally decided to just go for it.

From day one of the blog a ‘joke’ I’ve had is the hope that an intern of Ellen’s will discover my blog, and convince Ellen to give it a chance. Then, because she’s super kind, she’ll give me a chance and introduce me to a literary agent (it worked for this 9 year old who’s more socially suave than I am, so why not for me?).

Anyhow – it’s a lovely thought to have that this will all work out in the end. And I can’t delude myself without feeding my delusions with new nonsense on the blog.

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Attn: Ellen

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De Jour of the Week (9/14/10)

September 14, 2010

I wrote this in my graphical user interface class in college. What a good student I am. Anyhow, now that I’m back at school hopefully I won’t be slacking off and writing nonsense like this …

Oh, and this is written from the perspective of my stomach. This was from a joke gone wrong. I said my stomach’s name is Seymour, then yelled, “FEEEEED ME SEYMOUR!” Then realized my mistake. Oh well, Seymour it is.

Also dig the reference to Keystone Light. YES!

Seymour (My Stomach’s Name)

“No one pays attention to me!”
I say loudly with a scowl,
Trust me on the volume of my growl.
It’s not my choice, I didn’t want this to be!

I’d much rather be a calf, an elbow or toes.
I didn’t make this decision, it’s just how it goes.

I’m embarrassed, don’t look, I’m going to flee!
Just get me a sandwich, a cracker, a crumb!
You know that I know you’re not really that dumb.
“I’ll show you!”, I say, forcefully.

Don’t pat me, you fool, I can never be soothed!
I’m telling you! Begging you! Give me some food!

At last! My wish is heard! I know nothing but glee!
We’re here at the fridge, what’s in it, I wonder?
Dos Equis? Michelob? Keysone? What blunder!
Ah ha, at the top! What’s that I see?

Moon pies, cereal and jalapeno bread?
I’m in Heaven, it’s true. I can be fed!

“Someone has finally paid attention to me!”
That’s what that growl meant, a kind thank you,
Now we can sit, relax, and maybe nap too.
“Oh, wait, uh oh” I realize terribly,

I wasn’t even hungry, I feel so childish…
Say! What’s in that covered dish?

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Du Jour of the Week

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