The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘adult’

Gaining Wisdom with Age

Soon I will be 30. THIRTY! Pretty crazy, eh past self?

You bet, hoss.

I remember way back when, using a bathroom and making silly faces in the mirror while I washed my hands, and then trying to transition quickly to a ‘thinking really hard’ face when someone else walks in the bathroom, and then starting to laugh to myself because I totally tricked that dude who just walked in the bathroom and oh no now I’m laughing out loud and then ANOTHER person comes in the bathroom and … Well, I’m just glad that’s in the past. I’ll be 30 soon!

That happened earlier today.

Yeah but it won’t happen when I’m THIRTY and an adult!

Eh. We’ll see.

Past self – how come you seem smarter than me?

Sorry. Tell me more things that’ll change with you being thirty.

Well, I think I’ll start subscribing to the local paper.

Oh cool, big papier-mâché project in mind?

No, to be informed! To read the news and … know stuff.

Oh yeah, hey, past self from when you turned 25 you should join this conversation.

Hey fellas, what’s up?!

Current self thinks he’s going to subscribe to the paper to be well informed and have opinions on the community and such.

Oh yeah, opinions on the community! Good one! Also maybe check out a garage sale or estate sale to pick up some weird local stuff.

Oh cool! I’m going to do the same any day now!

… Hey … Wait … 25 year old self … You’re also about to start reading the paper and …

Yeah most definitely!

Dang it generic past self, you’re an a-hole. Are you trying to show me that I haven’t mentally evolved at all from the time I was 25 til now?

No, not at all. You have really fast internet now.


Am I An Adult?

This week I am doing no blogging*, and instead focusing on some laziness, reading, beach time, and hanging out with my family.

When I thought about this trip I looked forward to it for an odd reason: I would be doing nothing. I can’t imagine myself looking forward to that when I was a kid.

“So … we’re gonna drive to a place … To do nothing? I can do that here! I don’t have my video games there, so what’s the point of this!?”

In college my reasons were different but the result was the same – vacations aren’t for doing nothing.

But now … Now I’m happy with the idea. What has changed? Have I become … a GROWN-UP!?

Let’s check the “Are You a Grown-Up?” checklist:

  • Do you eat boring cereal in the morning? Yes.
  • While eating that cereal, do you read or watch the news? Yes.
  • When you hear about some optimistic news of some great change that is going to happen, do you acknowledge the news with a skeptical grunt (even if no one is around to hear you)? Sometimes.
  • Do you for some reason always have change in your pocket? No. (Maybe it was just my dad, but I swear every night the same bit of change went on the nightstand, and then back in the pocket in the next morning.)
  • Would you rather spend your Sunday reading the paper than playing video games? Haha Lord, no. (Hey, I’m being honest.)
  • Do you make comments about how politicians are weasels? Yes.

Congratulations, self, you are mostly grown-up. Now go take some “vitamin M” (aka motrin) for the ache in your back you have from sleeping on the floor (when I was a kid sleeping on the floor had no side-effects), grab a froufrou magazine, some coffee and enjoy the beauty of doing nothing.


*I reserve the right to change my mind and blog quotes of my nephews, nieces, and my punk uncle commentary on them.

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