The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘advice’

Thirty-Seven and Counting!

Congratulations to my parents, who have hit 37 years of marriage! (As I had mentioned earlier when I explained the 37th anniversary gift.)

Earlier today I talked to my mom and I asked her, “what’s the secret to 37 years of marriage? What have you learned?” She responded with a bunch of words, which I was not expecting. I had hoped for a politician-like sound byte. Perhaps, “hard work, good old fashioned American can do attitudes, and a winning smile!” Something that sounded good, but really wasn’t saying anything.

Instead she said … stuff.

One of the items she mentioned was also something I had heard at a lecture: the idea of how 50/50 is bad. It seems counter-intuitive (at least to me) but just wait, you’ll see it will make sense.

In a successful relationship, you should plan and want to give 60% of the effort. If you’re in a bad relationship, your counterpart now has it made. If you’re in a good relationship you’ve got two people who want to give 60%, which is great. It doesn’t make sense mathematically, but it’s great. Here’s what that buys you:

If you go into something 50/50, you may end up paying attention to how much the other person has contributed. I did the dishes last night, now it’s your turn. That sort of thing … But if you go into something thinking you’ll be giving 60% then you will not sweat the small stuff. You won’t think before acting if it should actually be the other person’s turn.

So there you go, from my mom and some random lecturing person … A tip for a long-lasting relationship!

Congrats again to the parentals!

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Tips for Recent Grads – Your Big Trip!

Here we go, recent grad, as I stated earlier I will now be throwing unwarranted advice your way. I debated not posting this because it is obvious and who am I to give advice? But, I had written it up and didn’t want to just throw it out (i.e. I didn’t want to write something else), so here we go!

Done with college! Done with dense books! Done with learning!

Ok, maybe not all three of those … But at least for a while two of the three may be very true. And what better way to celebrate than with a big trip? ESPECIALLY a trip overseas!

Turns out, we (U.S.A.! U.S.A.!) aren’t loved nearly as much as we love ourselves. Fret not, my friends. On an individual level, there are a lot of us who are very likable people. As a recent college grad you are, hopefully, somewhat intelligent. Put that big brain to use.

Here is some advice (again, apologies if it is obvious or you already know it, you world-weary wanderer):

1. Get a Toronto Raptors sticker and throw that on your backpack.

2. Get a Toronto Blue Jays sticker and throw that on your backpack.

3. Say please and thank you.

4. Imagine yourself going to a friend’s house. You hang out and watch movies and you end up crashing there. The next morning he/she says, “you want some cereal?” and you happily say yes because of course you want cereal, cereal is delicious.

Your friend says “please help yourself” (note the please) and you get to work. Your friend ends up keeping their silverware and bowls and cereal boxes in the LAST place you check for each item. You started logically, “where would I put the spoons if I lived here …” and eventually you gave up on that approach, blindly checking.

Now, does the confusion in a different setup you’re used make the cereal any less delicious? No, don’t be silly. Does the different setup make you want to say, “wow, this is really weird” (but the way you say weird makes it seem like you’re implying crazy or stupid)? No, because you’re not a jackass.

(Note: For dudes, you may say things like this just to be a jackass … Hopefully you know that you can call yourself and your best friend an idiot, but no one else.)

Ready for the shocking jump in my little analogy?

When you go to a foreign country where the culture is very different from what you are used to … Things may seem weird to you. But they are weird in fascinating ways. Your friend has his or her own logic for the spoons being in the drawer closest to the fridge, while you keep the spoons closest to the bowls.

You may meet some people who are cool with the fact that you’re wide-eyed and bushy-tailed. The world is an amazing place and far too few get to see enough of it. These cool people you meet may understand your fascination and you can ask them, “so why DO you keep the spoons in that drawer instead of that drawer?”

Good luck, globetrotters!

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Congratulations Graduates! Welcome to the Next 40 Years

Graduation … It’s a milestone that is at once happy, and upon further reflection, terrifying.

Let’s say you get yourself a lovely corporate job and you’re reading through orientation information and filling out paperwork and your work offers a lovely savings program. You think to yourself, “I’ve never made much money so … I won’t even notice that I’m missing five percent of my paycheck.” Then you say goodbye to that five percent.

That’s fine – here’s where it gets depressing. The money is put into something which is oriented towards the day you will retire … which is more than forty years away.

Moving on …

There’s a good chance you already know all of this, and possibly more than me. Nevertheless, I am going to write about this (hasn’t everything already been covered anyway? So why not add my voice to the redundant, overdone chorus?). My sister likes to make fun of me for having become very corporate, and I’ve come to realize that she is kind of right. Now to add to my corporate image …

***

First off, congrats on getting a job. I will give three pieces of unwarranted advice.

Piece of advice number one: Expect unwarranted advice. Listen to it anyway.

Piece of advice number two: SSSSSSMILE!

Piece of advice number three: If when you tell people about what you do, you try to make it sound more complicated than it actually is … Stop it. I don’t have a reason for that one, it just annoys me.

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