The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘awkward silence’

FYI About Tags

This blog is self-serving. I want to get published. It’d be awesome, and hopefully people would enjoy reading things I write (and had published).

I’m doing this blog because it’s fun, and to shoot for this goal. As part of this I am trying to advertise myself a bit.

Starting a month or two ago I’ve been adding the following tags to every post I do: brad, stanley, brad stanley, gangly, awkward silence.

Why? The first few are obvious – they’re my name.

But gangly and awkward silence are because of this logic: how AWESOME would it be if I became associated with either of those phrases? That would be amazing!

Recently the girlfriend unit discovered a blog post about which she said: “HAHA… if you just omit the second to last paragraph… this is shockingly true!”

The blog post is about TGD’s … Tall, Gangly Dudes. As a member of the tall, gangly dude club, I was happy to hear that this stranger is a fan of my people. And I totally agree that I see tall, gangly people and I think they look kind of funny. Like a rubber-band and a human had a baby.

Anyway – just letting you know that I, Brad Stanley, would like to be considered gangly, and associated with the phrase ‘awkward silence.’

The stellar report card from the random fellow-blogger is here.

Attn: Ellen (9/29/10)

Front

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

As an FYI, the postcard is from the Johnson Space Center gift shop.

The text of the postcard is:

.

Dear Ellen,

Did you know I’m 6’3″ of awkward on the dance floor?

It’s like each limb is trying to one-up the other in an awkward battle. Neat, huh?

GetBradStanley
Published.com

Superman Going Clothes Shopping

“Hi, welcome to McMurphy’s!”

“Hi, thank you.”

“Let me know if I can help you, Mr. Kent.”

“Oh! … Sure … How … uh … How did you know my name?”

“Well … You came in here yesterday … And you bought some clothes … Kent, right? Clark Kent?”

“Yes … Yes … That’s my name … Quite the average name, huh?”

“Um … Sure …”

“Say, do you have any of this size shirt, but in white?”

“Um … Yeah … Here let me look in the back for you …”

“Thanks!”

“…Um … Yeah … We have one …”

“What’s that? It’s hard to hear you when you’re speaking to me from the stock room? I have such normal hearing! Ha!”

“Um … Yeah … Sorry … So … I said … We have one …”

“Great!”

“But it’s pretty expensive. More expensive than the brand you usually buy.”

“Oh … Gosh … Money is pretty tight …”

“I can imagine.”

“What do you mean by that? I have a regular job that any human could have.”

“Um … Well … I meant because uh … Well … Remember yesterday when you were in here … And you bought a new pair of slacks, a tie and a nice shirt?”

“Why, yes, I do remember that.”

“Well … Uh … Then you said you wanted to wear them out?”

“Yes … Perfectly normal. I had a meeting.”

“Right! Yeah! Of course but uh … Well … I found your new clothes … Plus the clothes you’d worn in … umm … In a phone booth … That one … Right there … It’s right outside the door to our store … Like ten feet from where I’m standing.”

“Oh …”

“So uh … I mean you come in here … a lot … And you always buy … Pretty much the same exact thing … And you say you’ve got a regular job …”

“Yes! I’m a reporter! Quite normal!”

“Yeah! No! I completely agree! It’s just uh … Well anyway, I went outside and grabbed all the clothes once I’d noticed you’d ah … misplaced them … And so here they are … Since it’s probably pretty expensive buying new clothes all the time …”

“Oh! How kind of you! Thank you, citizen!”

“And uh … I’ve got a cousin who’s a cop and … Well the cops find … Probably at least twice a day … Um … Clothes … Like the ones you buy here … That … Happen to match what you’re wearing now …”

“Oh! As a journalist … I should investigate this …”

“Yeah, right! Of course! I figured … So my cousin brought all the clothes here in these trash bags … If you want them … For your uh … article …”

“Yes, thank you!”