A new life milestone for myself, and much more physically impacting for my wife, we will be parents! Woah!
Aside from that big milestone there are other ones that accompany it: first baby outfit purchased (see below), first time saying goodbye to money for the next X years (where X equals a number I don’t want to think about).
Goodbye money, hello adorable clothes that will be usable for less time than I sometimes wear one pair of socks in a sitting. (Just kidding, you hope.)
The other day I met what has to be one of the richest women ever. She was talking to her baby about this food she’d just bought for her baby. Designer label food! Gerbers is apparently not good enough for them, noooo. They have something made by a fancy label. But, I have to admit, with how adamantly she was talking about it, I’m really curious what this “Gucci Goo” tastes like.
He’ll also eat crushed up diamonds.
It seems like announcing that you are having a kid in a creative and fun way is a new competitive event. I saw two different friends post that they are “egg-specting” on Easter. How long had they been planning this? Probably years! (They had to get the timing just right. An “egg-specting” announcement in December makes no sense, unless you can somehow make it “egg-specting-nog” … but that sounds like some magical drink that gets you pregnant.)
Moving on.
None of the above is my point – and also I guess that means the title is very misleading …
Moving on, again.
HERE’S my reason for posting! My biiiiiiiig joke. The big joke-a-roni. Yes, sir, it’s gonna be worth reading all this nonsense if you just stay with me. Okie doke. Here we go. Ready, set, joke-it-to-me.
I think instead of saying baby, you should always be very specific and say ‘human baby.’ That way you sound like a real crazy! Take these examples … for examples …
Welp, there you go. That’s my post.
DumbFunnery 