What’s the most important step in owning any store? (And by most important I mean most fun.) Naming the store!
If I happened to sell Christmas trees, here are some potential names:
First of all I’d like for you to apologize to those pants for subjecting them to looking that bad. That’s what that ass said to me.
Get it?
I decided to watch the next Westminster Dog Show while listening to Jay-Z’s “99 Problems.”
Because the song has a b-word … and that’s why it’s funny.
She and I wanted to start using more words. I liked her so I took this as an opportunity. I told her if she was an angle she’d be “acute.” She told me I could’ve made a move long ago but I’m so “obtuse.” I told her I’m not fat and I ran away. Greater than 90 degrees? What a jerk.
Yes, there it is … my old inviting friend
This conversational lull may be the end
Because, after my joke (which may offend)
The conversation may well be deadened
The attention is mine!
The story, the delivery, is fine …
And then! And then … the um, oh shoot, uh … what’s the punchline?
I’ll stutter gibberish while I hope to divine …
Um, well, it’s funny … I’m pretty sure
I can’t remember that one but I have more!
Do I know a word stronger than ‘abhor’?
Well, that’s just uncalled for
But, it’s genetic you see
Get me around my family and it’s painfully,
Oh, so, SO painfully,
Clear to (escaping) you and me
There’s no other sound
To which I am bound
Like the lovely sound
My jokes bring around
“……..Ugh.”
Meanwhile, my grinning mug,
(You’d think I’d feel like a lug
But bad humor and I are quite snug)
So, we shrug,
And at this joke continue to plug
Yes, my humor may bring a groan
But your little grin while you bemoan
Is to all so clearly shown
So these bad jokes, you condone
DumbFunnery 