The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘Du Jour of the Week’

For the Mamas and the Papas

One interview question that I read about, but was never asked, went something along the lines of, “explain the internet as you would to your grandmother.”

The idea of this is to provide an opportunity for the candidate to show off (or fluster and flop-sweatingly stumble around) their ability to explain technical concepts in a simple manner. This is a great skill to have.

Of course, had I been asked this question I would have said, “uh, my grandma is best friends with Vint Cerf, so suck eggs you ageist scum.” (Vinton Gray Cerf co-designed the TCP/IP protocol which is to the internet what the foundation of a house is … to a house.)

This all brings me to today’s topic – The Cloud. Like all great buzzwords, it is catchy without revealing anything substantial or informational.

(Also a note. For technically-savvy readers, if I state anything incorrectly or make poor assumptions or have anything worth debate or investigation – please let me know. The point of this is to provide something useful and accurate, unlike the vast majority of my posts.)

 

What is the Cloud?

Your computer has memory that can hold X amount of data – pictures, programs, movies, whatever. Your phone is the same way. Really, any number of devices are the same way.

The cloud provides you more space to store things. If you can store ten things, but you have access to the cloud (you would need the internet to have access … so if you’re on a plane you likely won’t have access to the cloud), then you can store your ten things locally on your phone/computer/whatever and some extra amount of things in the cloud.

Let’s look at Mary Poppins, who had a purse with access to the cloud.

There’s no way a hat rack can fit in that purse. Therefore, we must assume the purse is connected to some extra storage area like a shed. With her access to that extra storage, she isn’t limited to how much her purse can contain, she can carry things in her purse, and use that purse to access to the additional storage in her shed.

Now to ask the eye doctor question – is that better, or worse? Did I just confuse you more?

Basically, “the cloud” is just more space to put stuff. If you’ve got the right tool (Mary Poppin’s purse, or the internet) you can access that extra stuff.

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Update on the Home Front

With the wife being out of town, the normal routine has been disturbed. But no matter, I can roll with the flow look few can. Here, let me share some updates!

  • I live three doors down from a cop. I have been loitering outside by his car touching his car. So far nothing has come of this. But that’s probably for the best, because I’ve yet to establish a joke to go along with this setup.
  • Given: your wife has a couple plants she is desperately trying to get to the point where they are full-fledged grown-up plants and Given: your wife has named these plants names like “Carlos” and “Grumpus” … How annoyed will you be when you stage fake picture pictures of a murder-suicide using Carlos and Grumpus? Answer forthcoming.
  • Recently a neighbor kid came by the kitchen window in the backyard and scared the crap out of me. With the house to myself I have taken to rolling my shorts up so that it looks like a diaper (it’s simple to do with running shorts, just pull up on the sides and tuck them in). Come on by neighbor kid, let’s see who’s scared now.
  • Did you know cartoons are still enjoyable? Did you know working, then coming home and watching four hours of cartoons until it’s time for bed three days in a row is less enjoyable? Because I’M WELL AWARE.

Wish the wife luck folks, she gets back soon.

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My (Prairie) Dogs Are Barking

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A few weeks ago my wife and I were driving home and we saw one, two, three … I have no idea how many, but a bunch of prairie dogs! How cool!

A few days later we headed out on our bikes. I was convinced I’d be able get a good close-up picture of these little buggers.

Apparently, though, cars don’t cause those guys to sound the alarm … but bikers, joggers and walkers do. Try as I might, I couldn’t get nearly as close as I was when zipping by them in my car.

I don’t know which intrepid prairie dogs were the first ones to take up home next to a busy road, but they have learned to think nothing of cars. When you think about it, that’s a pretty crazy and intelligent step for them. Was it a quick step? Or was the first family of prairie dogs that lived near a road a family that was constantly on edge? Constantly out chirping at each other,

“Alan! Steve! Get back in here! There’s trouble afoot! … Oh it’s gone. Ok nevermind. WAIT! NO! Trouble afoot again! Wait, gone ag – IT’S B … Ok, gone. NO!”

You get the idea.

DumbFunnery.com will kindly allow you to buy me a fancy camera so I can get a great picture from a distance. Really, I don’t mind at all. Buy me one. It’s totally cool.

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