The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘Du Jour of the Week’

Is Tom Brady an 80’s Villain?

In a number of 80’s comedy movies the villains can be easily spotted by a few trademark characteristics:

  • They have no character development (“hey, there’s … Johnny!”)
  • They seem to be evil without reason, it is just known and accepted that they are evil
  • They are rich
  • They are good looking, often with a good looking girlfriend or boyfriend
  • They have an annoying laugh
  • They seem to be above reproach, even when doing things that clearly seem pretty evil
  • They usually have sidekicks who are also rich and attractive, and they laugh at everything the main guy says

 

Now that football has started back up, and the Patriots are 3-0, talk of Tom Brady has blossomed like a tornado – it’s out of control. But, this does give us an opportunity to examine the facts.

  • Tom Brady is rich
  • Tom Brady is good looking, with a moderately attractive wife (oh I’m a model, pft, whatever)
  • Just looking at Tom Brady you know he laughs weird
  • Hello! Above reproach much??
  • Probably has a posse of guys named Chet, Chaz, Chad and Chodrick
  • He kills kittens because he hates dogs and doesn’t want them to have anything to chase (this may not be true but it sounds pretty likely to me)

 

Now that you have the facts, you decide.

One of these is Tom Brady – it’s pretty clear who.

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Du Jour of the Week

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Perfect Preparation Makes Blah Blah

My wife and I, by the time you are reading this, will (hopefully) be back in Houston after a challenging but enjoyable 5 day hike. Or perhaps four and a half. But five sounds more impressive.

One of my wife’s concerns for this trip is the showering situation: there will be no showers.

For this trip my wife and I did lots to prepare. We drove to elevation in Texas (that’s no small feat), Big Bend National Park and we did a 15 mile hike that involved elevation gain and loss. The next day, in lots of pain, we settled for a four mile hike.

We’ve also got bug wipes, wet wipes, quick dry towels, fancy backpacks, giant water containers, and … cleaning wipes. These will be the substitute for showering. But what my wife doesn’t know is … I’ve been preparing for a lack of showers all my life:

  • After working out, even if it is drenched in sweat inducing, I will saunter about the homestead making dinner, chilling out, sometimes even going to sleep, all before showering (my wife has put a stop to that last activity because it is “gross”)
  • If, again, before marriage, I would come home and my apartment would reek I would be grossed out … and impressed
  • The summer my parents bought a house with a pool in the backyard I didn’t bathe for at least a week, possibly two … When the longest time between being in the pool and not being in the pool is 7 hours, who needs bathing? (Note: I was 18 at this time)

So, hopefully soon you’ll see some pictures from our trip, and hear about our adventures.

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Other Things God Tried Before the Silent Treatment

God, who is currently undergoing the longest known example of ‘the silent treatment,’ tried other things to get humanity’s attention first:

  • Calling, but hanging up before humanity could answer, then waiting for humanity to call back
  • Saying ‘what?’ and then when humanity responds ‘…what’, God says with annoyance, ‘oh, I thought you said something’ and then there’s a silence that’s even heavier than what it was before the exchange
  • Sighing really loudly while deliberately not looking at humanity
  • Having one of God’s friends call humanity and say, ‘hey what’s your deal? Why are you being so rude to God?’
  • Being super sweet to humanity and then when humanity does the slightest thing wrong getting even angrier

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