The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘villain’

Is Tom Brady an 80’s Villain?

In a number of 80’s comedy movies the villains can be easily spotted by a few trademark characteristics:

  • They have no character development (“hey, there’s … Johnny!”)
  • They seem to be evil without reason, it is just known and accepted that they are evil
  • They are rich
  • They are good looking, often with a good looking girlfriend or boyfriend
  • They have an annoying laugh
  • They seem to be above reproach, even when doing things that clearly seem pretty evil
  • They usually have sidekicks who are also rich and attractive, and they laugh at everything the main guy says

 

Now that football has started back up, and the Patriots are 3-0, talk of Tom Brady has blossomed like a tornado – it’s out of control. But, this does give us an opportunity to examine the facts.

  • Tom Brady is rich
  • Tom Brady is good looking, with a moderately attractive wife (oh I’m a model, pft, whatever)
  • Just looking at Tom Brady you know he laughs weird
  • Hello! Above reproach much??
  • Probably has a posse of guys named Chet, Chaz, Chad and Chodrick
  • He kills kittens because he hates dogs and doesn’t want them to have anything to chase (this may not be true but it sounds pretty likely to me)

 

Now that you have the facts, you decide.

One of these is Tom Brady – it’s pretty clear who.

Attn: Ellen (8/14/13)

Front

Ellen132a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen132b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I think if I was a super villain who struggled with depression I would go by the name Mega Low Maniac. I would wear a cape but it wouldn’t have any designs on it, because, as I would say also as my battle cry: “oh, what’s the point?” Of course I would never shout that before battle, my sidekick Ennui Go would do that.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?

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