The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘Du Jour of the Week’

Tough Interview Question

I read that one way to have someone prove their ability to communicate difficult concepts in an easy to understand manner is to ask a question like, “how would you explain a website that is http versus a website that is https to your grandmother.”

First, you may have to familiarize yourself with the technical intricacies of the difference because wait … what does http even stand for? I mean I know s is secure or … like … security but … How does the internet work!?

Anywho, I thought of a question I would ask if I was conducting an interview of someone who I didn’t like because I felt he or she was too cocky: “How would you explain how babies are conceived to your grandmother?” Then when the person insists that their grandma knows or that the question has no relevance for being a clerk at a grocery store I would simply state, “If you want the job,” then I would pause for dramatic effect, “then explain to me, as though I am your grandmother, where babies come from. I went to a Catholic high school so … don’t mind me taking copious notes.”

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Weather Safety

Many of you know the phrase, “When thunder roars, go indoors.” For those of you who don’t know the phrase, it is meant to be easily remembered and remind you to be safe when a thunderstorm is heading your way.

What you may not know is that the NOAA (National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration) in combination with a conference for TV meteorologists were so inspired by the success of “When thunder roars, go indoors” that they came up with a new list of phrases to remind people that it is definitely better to be safe than sorry when it comes to the powerful forces of nature.

 

If you see a tornado, you’d better a-go-go.

You don’t have carte blanche when there could be an avalanche.

If you notice hail, local dealerships will soon have a sale.

Don’t be insane, respect the hurricane.

Is that lightning? That sh** is frightening.

 

Are you safer now having read these informative quips? As any number of important government officials at NOAA would say, ‘Don’t be a dip, let me know what you think of the quip.’

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Gaining Wisdom with Age

Soon I will be 30. THIRTY! Pretty crazy, eh past self?

You bet, hoss.

I remember way back when, using a bathroom and making silly faces in the mirror while I washed my hands, and then trying to transition quickly to a ‘thinking really hard’ face when someone else walks in the bathroom, and then starting to laugh to myself because I totally tricked that dude who just walked in the bathroom and oh no now I’m laughing out loud and then ANOTHER person comes in the bathroom and … Well, I’m just glad that’s in the past. I’ll be 30 soon!

That happened earlier today.

Yeah but it won’t happen when I’m THIRTY and an adult!

Eh. We’ll see.

Past self – how come you seem smarter than me?

Sorry. Tell me more things that’ll change with you being thirty.

Well, I think I’ll start subscribing to the local paper.

Oh cool, big papier-mâché project in mind?

No, to be informed! To read the news and … know stuff.

Oh yeah, hey, past self from when you turned 25 you should join this conversation.

Hey fellas, what’s up?!

Current self thinks he’s going to subscribe to the paper to be well informed and have opinions on the community and such.

Oh yeah, opinions on the community! Good one! Also maybe check out a garage sale or estate sale to pick up some weird local stuff.

Oh cool! I’m going to do the same any day now!

…

… Hey … Wait … 25 year old self … You’re also about to start reading the paper and …

Yeah most definitely!

Dang it generic past self, you’re an a-hole. Are you trying to show me that I haven’t mentally evolved at all from the time I was 25 til now?

No, not at all. You have really fast internet now.

I AM EVOLVED!

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