The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘Du Jour of the Week’

The Frasier Distribution List

Recently I got letters in the mail from the Houston Symphony, and the Houston Ballet. They are advertising things to try and make me more fancy. I am resisting the advertisements with ease.

Why am I getting any of this stuff at all? Because I went to a symphony event to try and impress a lady (it worked!). Here are some of the thoughts I had while at the event:

  • After the show I want to see if Niles and Frasier want to have a sherry.
  • Where do I turn in my drink ticket for booze?
  • I wish they weren’t singing in English, then I’d have an excuse for not getting what’s going on.
  • That Asian girl sure has a lot of hip movement for a violinist.
  • What date number do you think it is for those two to our right? Get a room you two!
  • I wonder how close Whataburger is to here … I need to un-class myself with some junk food.

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Du Jour of the Week

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Products and Their Sponsors, part 1

Baby Penguin: Mom?
Mother Penguin: Yes, darling.
Baby Penguin: You have such an original scent.
Mother Penguin: And you, my dear, are a dishwashing liquid.

Think that doesn’t make sense? I completely agree.

Dawn Soap

Advertising Executive 1: Let’s put penguins on the soap!
Advertising Executive 2: That doesn’t make any sense to me.
Advertising Executive 1: I’m your boss and I am in a weird place in my life where I want birds on things.
Advertising Executive 2: I love this plan!

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Du Jour of the Week

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Corporate Brad Update

Lately I have found that I needed to spruce up my work persona. You see, I have not shaved for about a month and it’s drawing comments (notable comparisons: Lincoln, Wolverine, guy who stopped trying). While this is not that big a deal because I am a software engineer and one of my co-workers likes wearing an old t-shirt with cats on it, I do feel like I should try to counter this lazy look with something.Ol Beardy

Maybe some co-workers see the facial hair and think, “he must be a hard worker because he has stopped grooming himself, so that extra energy is now going towards heavy mental lifting.” Other co-workers may see me and think, “there goes Brad, I bet he’s going to sit at his desk and write a poem about oak trees. Or something.”

What better way to counter potential negative reactions than by making myself seem more productive!

Here’s the Solution …

Business.

Sure, we all know the definition. Business is, you know, an entity that makes money or whatever. But what about business as … a verb!

“Where are you going?”
“I have to go to business a Todd meeting.”
“…What’s that mean?”
“Sorry, no time, business.”
“Woah … He’s important.”

Nevermind the fact that I don’t work with a guy named Todd – The person will be flabbergasted by my business acuity. Or should I say the person will be business’d by my business acuity. (More like a business cutey! What? That doesn’t make sense. Shh, yes it does.)

Business this idea over in your brain, and let me know what you think. Meanwhile, I’ve got some important documents to business.

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