Front
Back (apologies for my handwriting!)
The text of the postcard is
Dear Ellen,
At my son’s daycare they send ‘incident reports’ if he gets banged up. The most recent one was, “[your son] was sitting on a friend, and the friend scratched his face.” The led me to conclude I wouldn’t last a day at daycare.
Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR @DumbFunnery
Mom: Did you hear my big news?
Child: Uh … yeah … Dad told me …
Mom: Well!? Isn’t it just such a wonderful idea!?
Child: Uh … yeah … it’s exciting, mom.
Mom: Everyone has just always had such wonderful things to say about my cookies! And now everyone in the world can have them since I’m going into business!
Child: Yeah, your cookies …
Mom: Yes?
Child: They … keep. They keep better than any other cookie. Fresh or three weeks old, you can’t tell a difference.
Mom: Well, what an unusual compliment!
Child: I mean they’re good … It’s just like … Every time you have one you’re like, ‘oh yeah. This flavor.’
Mom: Now everyone will know that same delightful experience!
Child: Maybe you could have a recipe on the back to make something else with the cookies.
Mom: Like a cookie pie?
Child: No I was thinking like … a shed. Or the hull of a shipping vessel.
Mom: Hmm. Your dad said skyscrapers.
Child: Oh yeah! That’s a good one, dad.
Mom: Well. You can’t have any of these that are about to come out of the oven.
Child: All right! Thanks mom!
Mom: …
Front
Back (apologies for my handwriting!)
The text of the postcard is
Dear Ellen,
Do you think, in the history of Welch’s, anyone has even been fired for saying ‘hey! That’s really grape news!’
Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com
OR @DumbFunnery
DumbFunnery 