The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘cookies’

Mother’s Iced Oatmeal Cookies

Mom: Did you hear my big news?

Child: Uh … yeah … Dad told me …

IMG_20190331_194006607Mom: Well!? Isn’t it just such a wonderful idea!?

Child: Uh … yeah … it’s exciting, mom.

Mom: Everyone has just always had such wonderful things to say about my cookies! And now everyone in the world can have them since I’m going into business!

Child: Yeah, your cookies …

Mom: Yes?

Child: They … keep. They keep better than any other cookie. Fresh or three weeks old, you can’t tell a difference.

Mom: Well, what an unusual compliment!

Child: I mean they’re good … It’s just like … Every time you have one you’re like, ‘oh yeah. This flavor.’

Mom: Now everyone will know that same delightful experience!

Child: Maybe you could have a recipe on the back to make something else with the cookies.

Mom: Like a cookie pie?

Child: No I was thinking like … a shed. Or the hull of a shipping vessel.

Mom: Hmm. Your dad said skyscrapers.

Child: Oh yeah! That’s a good one, dad.

Mom: Well. You can’t have any of these that are about to come out of the oven.

Child: All right! Thanks mom!

Mom: …

Attn: Ellen (12/19/18)

Front

Ellen379b

 

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen379a

 

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

This year I’ve secretly been telling people ‘Mary Christmas’ because this girl I know, named Mary, likes bringing home-baked cookies to work so I hope that … aw crap, just remembered her name is actually Joan.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com
OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

 

Christmas Cookies!

Every year as far back as I can remember my family has decorated sugar cookies during Christmas. It’s a great tradition. Largely because the cookies are delicious, and then they’re coated in frosting (mix powdered sugar and milk until desired consistency achieved, add color) … It’s so simple, and amazing.

One of the “rules” with the cookies is that if you break one while decorating it, it’s just no good to have on display so you have to go ahead and eat it. Oh so many fumbling fingers come Christmas time just can’t help but break a tree-shaped cookie in two.

Here are a few samples from this year’s decorating.

Most of my proud creations

Christmas Cookies

My Niece’s Artwork (in Cookie Form)

Christmas Cookies

My Crowning Achievement (Inception in Cookie Form)

Christmas Cookies

Home, I Miss Ye

Christmas Cookies

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