The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘dumb’

Attn: Ellen (8/24/16)

Front

Ellen274a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen274b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I wonder if Lewis and Clark kept tallies on each other, for how many times they said, “aww!” Also I wonder if they said “AHHHHH!!!” just as many times.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR
@DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

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Attn: Ellen

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What Will Michael Phelps Do Now?

Olympics stud Michael Phelps will be hanging up his swimming cap and goggles … but what will he do now?

Don’t worry – I’ve got some ideas, Phelpsy old pal.
160630101057-michael-phelps-u-s-trials-exlarge-169

High five anyone? Please?

Spy
Intimidating guard with gun and official looking hat: What are you doing in this classified area?!
Michael Phelps: Wait, THIS isn’t a swimming pool!
Intimidating guard (laughing): Oh, Phelps!
Corporate Spy
Intimidating guard with lanyard and official looking polo: What are you doing in this classified area!?
Michael Phelps: Wait, THIS isn’t a swimming pool!
Intimidating guard (laughing): Oh, Phelpsy!
Dancer for Money
Slimy middle-aged man with an overbite and an abundant belly: Dance, monkey.
Michael Phelps (crying): (Cry noises)
Commercials for any number of products
 
(Intimidating side effects of a drug)
Michael Phelps: Now I’m ready for a swim!
(More side effects)

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Du Jour of the Week

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Custom Error Messages

Recently at work I tried to write some intelligent error messages for the end user. This is a very dull thing to do that involves a lot of focus on finding the exact right words. Here are some error messages that I, as a user, would much prefer to see.

  • Don’t panic, but something has gone horribly wrong.
  • LOL!, no but seriously don’t do that.
  • You caused a series of events so unexpected we didn’t bother to craft an intelligent error message. Well done, you.
  • Remember how the old Zelda games had a hand in some dungeons that would grab you and put you back at the start? This is just like that. Restarting in 10 ….
  • So I said, “tell you about race conditions? Sure, I’ll tell you about race conditions!” And then I talked about society, and culture, and I didn’t get the job. But these clowns hired me!

ic725763

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Du Jour of the Week

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