The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘dumb’

Keeping Up With the Kids

Recently I spent a week in California with a bunch of family. Among that family was a 16 year old niece and a 12 year old nephew. Naturally, I took the opportunity to catch up on the latest slang to continue to bring you, dear reader, the latest and most important news. Light on facts, heavy, on, commas.

Without further ado, here is some new slang.

  • Bath water waves – something drug-related
  • More ovaltine, please! – something drug-related
  • Slimy soup – something drug-related
  • Mr. Peabody’s Dentures – something sex-related
  • You going for a jog? – something exercise-related, possibly also drugs
  • Pokemon Stay – something sex-related
  • Shiny shiny wigs – something drug-related

There you go, readers. Listen for these phrases to know when to yell at the youth.

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Du Jour of the Week

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Attn: Ellen (7/20/16)

Front

Ellen269a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

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The text of the postcard is

Giraffes are awesome
They’re nature’s way of saying
Weird solutions work

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

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Attn: Ellen

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(Trail) Running Thoughts

  • M.C Escher must have designed this jog … I think it was uphill on the way out, and somehow uphill on the way back.escher_stairs
  • Oh man cereal is so amazing. I can’t wait to be eating cereal.
  • I feel like I’m in one of those westerns where someone gets dragged out to the middle of nowhere and they have to find their way back to humanity despite only having half a container of water and feeling deserted and afraid. Except it was my own stupid ambitions and energy and first half of the jog self that dragged me out here.
  • Is everyone I jog by less tired than me? I think everyone is less tired than me.
  • Woah. I feel like I must have looked like a STUD taking that hill! Man, I feel good! (2 seconds go by) Oh God. Time to stop and walk for ten minutes.

    photo(1)

    Once I can jog this trail by my house without stopping to walk I’ll allow myself to buy this shirt. A shirt like this has to be earned, you know.

Category:

Du Jour of the Week

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