The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘Ellen DeGeneres’

Attn: Ellen (1/25/17)

Front

ellen293a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

ellen293b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

This is where my wife and I stayed in Switzerland – HOW COOL IS THAT?! A guy showed us to our room who I imagine only works at the hotel when he grows tired of modeling and making watches. My wife did not buy me a watch as a lovely trinket because ‘that watch costs 1/5th my annual income.’ Excuses, huh? Can’t escape them even in a Swiss dreamland.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

Category:

Attn: Ellen

Tagged with:

Attn: Ellen (1/18/17)

Front

ellen292a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

ellen292b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Another trip has come and gone and what do I have to show for it but wonderful memories, stories, experiences, and trinkets. Oh. That’s actually pretty good … I need to tell my brain to quit whining and embrace that I’m back home.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

Category:

Attn: Ellen

Tagged with:

Attn: Ellen (12/21/16)

Front

ellen291a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

ellen291b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

If I was nefarious, and a hacker, I would hack Google and Amazon to give one response to any “Ok, google” or “Alexa” query someone might have.

Then, Christmas morning, excited people everywhere would set up their new Google Home or Amazon Echo Dot and they’d say, “play Jingle Bell Rock!” and then a few seconds pause before the device says, “I can’t wait to watch you while you sleep tonight …” then start playing Jingle Bell Rock.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

Why am I doing this?

Category:

Attn: Ellen

Tagged with: