The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘emotions’

The Tim Allen Connection

Last week I got an email from Netflix notifying me that Galaxy Quest is now available for instant play. You can bet your blog-reading self that I was happy to read this. Galaxy Quest, in case you haven’t seen it, is a dorky movie that features outer space. These are some of my favorite things.

I started watching the movie when it him me – The Tim Allen connection.

There it is – the face that assures you ‘you’re not about to experience emotions.’ 

I haven’t gone to the movies too often with my family, but occasionally we’ll do a group outing. Far less rare are times when it’s either just my dad and I or my brother and I. I can only think of two movies that my brother and I saw just the two of us … And only one movie that my dad and I saw just the two of us.

My brother and I saw … The Santa Clause, starring, you guessed it, Tim Allen. When that came out my brother was a hot shot high schooler and I was an elementary school kiddo. I don’t know if my brother was feeling brotherly or my mom forced him to as punishment, but one day he asked about us seeing a movie and before you know it, there we were, at The Santa Clause.

Laughter? You bet. Tears? Extremely unlikely. Male bonding? If two guys not talking about anything of any significance but having spent time together counts as male bonding then yes, I guess so.

Fast forward a few years and I’m in middle school. I have a feeling my mom and sister went to see some movie while my dad and I headed to … Galaxy Quest! Another Tim Allen classic.

Say what you will about him having a certain schtick, but when it comes to male bonding in my family, it’s sports or Tim Allen. Just imagine if he came a baseball coach, attendance would double (so if he coached the <your least favorite team here> there’d be as many people in the stands as players on the field – ZING!).

Weekly Wacko (52)

Bottle + Emotions = Manliness

Obviously guys aren’t alone in this trend, but they tend to represent it.

Today I was doing some work when one of my boss’s walked up. He stood in the middle of the cube hallway and looked left and right, between myself and another guy. Then he said, “I’m trying to decide who to tell this story to, who would find it funny.”

I turned to give him my attention, so he started telling it.

Apparently every Thursday he does the same order from a pizza place for his daughters. He’ll call up, tell them the order, pay the same price, and wha-la. Last week he ordered and the delivery was really late, which prompted him to call and complain. The pizza place apologized and took five dollars off his order. No biggie. Wellll, the ‘funny’ part of the story is that he called today and again it was five dollars off. My boss figured they entered the five dollars off in a computer and it wasn’t entered as a one-time thing, but accidentally as a permanent thing. He was laughing at, I guess, people’s dependence on computers (an ironic thing for a computer programmer to laugh at I would think).

Anyhow. He was tickled while telling this story and then joking about it with us. I recommended he call and complain a few times, and eventually the delivery guy will arrive with two pizzas and twenty bucks to give him.

The story didn’t do much for me, but I really liked my boss because he did something I (and probably many people) do. He was very excited about something but didn’t necessarily want to talk about it or share those feelings, so instead he was unnecessarily giddy/happy about something that really didn’t warrant it.

His wife was/is in the Philippines and there was a scare for a while because he hadn’t heard from her (for my/whoever’s future reference – there was a hurricane that hit there). Today he got some great news, she’ll be back home tomorrow. Big sigh of relief.

My boss heard this and just kind of wandered around smiling and cracking jokes, trying to find some way to deal with, I would imagine, how relieved and happy he was feeling. I suppose he could’ve bear-hugged random people walking by, but he’s a pretty strong-looking dude and that may have killed some of our older co-workers.

Anyhow – I really enjoy that. I think it’s a common trait and it’s great to see.

Now, here are two little wrinkles to this story.

One, my boss at one point said to someone, “I’m not excited about the pizza, I’m relieved because my wife is coming home.” This ruins my whole being manly and projecting emotions into another story angle.

The other way it was ruined a bit was this hysterical/lame quote from my boss. After saying how relieved and happy he was to get to see his wife again and know she’s safe and it’s good for their daughters and this and that … “Also I get to play golf Saturday!”

Emotions, huh? So complex and golf-oriented.

De Jour of the Week (8/4/10)

I saw the headline to get you to click on this CNN video, and the headline was “If a shark Attacks, hit it here.” And yes, I’m pretty sure they had the A capitalized on attacks. No idea why. Anyhow – it inspired this poem.

If a Shark Attacks, Hit it Here

(by Jaws’ cousin, Todd)

The news comes on every day
With the same basic message said in a different way:
Death, struggle, triumphs and tribulations
Caused by taxes, toil, emotional and physical ammunitions.

BUT!
For the short summertime we sharks are in a rut
It’s “shark attack” this and “beach advisory” that
You’ve got this blame-game down pat!

The world continues with its usual woes and wails
But the ‘exclusive-interview-with-the-survivor’ ship sets its sails
A story called ‘In case of shark attack, hit it here’?!?!
But the hit has already been delivered, my dear.

You think I’m all instincts, not intellectually smart –
But I’ve also got a tender, feeling heart –
So the next time you hear, “man fends of shark!”
HARK!
That’s slander!
Please don’t insult me by taking a gander.

Now if you’ll excuse me,
Above me I see
A very slow, long-limbed seal
And he’ll make a delicious meal
(But wait – do seals have long limbs?
Ah well!, like cousin J said, “it’s bound to be delicious if it swims!”)

Oh yeah and I’ve got a Facebook page now called … ready for it?! … “Get Brad Stanley Published.” Join up!!

My Zombie Roomy (6/17/10)

6/17/10
I don’t really like scary movies, and zombie flicks are included in that. I have an active imagination, and I don’t need any fuel to scare the crap out of me.

But, I’ll tell you, lately I’ve had a craving to watch a zombie flick. I feel sort of bad about this, too. I feel like if I had a dog for a roommate and I had a craving to watch ‘Old Yeller’. What’s wrong with me? Why do I want to watch zombies eat it?

I decided to be tactful about it, so I got a zombie flick and a sad human flick, that involved people dying. We watched the human flick, ‘Saving Private Ryan’, and the zombie cried during certain parts (that’s a sad movie!).

I thought, ok, yeah, crying makes sense. So then we put in a zombie movie, and he cried (as far as I could tell) an equivalent amount. I didn’t know what to do, but it was sort of contagious, so I cried a little too.

I think I won’t be watching another zombie movie for a while.

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