The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘humor’

Attn: Ellen (3/4/15)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

The Taj Mahal is too impressive to describe with words so I’ll try this:

[A picture so amazing you’ll just have to scroll up and admire it! … And following that picture:]

(And to think, I want to be a professional writer.)

(Hey, we should talk about that! No, really!)

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

(that’s my email too, just add an @gmail in there)

Why am I doing this?

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Attn: Ellen

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Attn: Ellen (2/25/15)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

We’re back! Where were we? And what do I mean by we? Are you assuming I have gone crazy? (An assumption backed by my writing on slanted lines?) Do I now only talk in the form of questions? All these questions, and more, will be answered in the coming weeks when I share highlights of my wife and I’s (that’s the we) trip (honeymoon) to India! (That’s the where.)

So get excited, Ellen, ol’ buddy, ol’ pal!

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR
@DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

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Attn: Ellen

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Was That You?

The area where my work is located is also great for jogging. It’s a suburb of Houston that has a lot of sidewalks and you can map out a bunch of different routes for different mileage. Plus, since I lived near work for so long, jogging around that area makes perfect sense.

Except.

Except for the occasional honk from a co-worker driving by. But wait, you might think, isn’t that nice? A little cheer from a co-worker? Yes, you’re right, it is nice.

But.

But what if at that moment I’m doing something I’d rather a co-worker didn’t see?

  1. Getting angry at a car waiting for a light to turn green that has pulled up onto the walkway. (Darn you.)
  2. Getting angry at a car inching forward to turn right on red while only looking left (meanwhile I am to the driver’s right hoping he/she sees me and trying to determine what to do).
  3. Musical butt (sorry … but it’s true)
  4. The runner’s nose blow (where you use a finger to plug one nostril, then just BLOW from the other nostril and whala, nasal passage re-enabled!)
  5. That time I grew out my Abraham Lincoln/Amish facial hair and ran shirtless during the summer (6’3 of skinny whiteness with a thick tuft of neck beard … blech) (Thankfully this is not a current scene that can be witnessed, but I do can still easily look like a nut while running – as seen here)

 

Thank you for supporting your local jogging enthusiasts while they are out doing their thing, just please wipe the memory from your mind if I look crazy/mean/smelly.

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Du Jour of the Week

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