Death be Damned! Fun Run
You may have heard of runs like the “Warrior Dash” or the “Tough Mudder.” They have become immensely popular and there are a lot of other runs out there like them.
The Warrior Dash is a 5k (about 3.1 miles) where you run through obstacles – hopping through tires, jumping over a “fire pit” (it’s very controlled and safe), jumping over waist high boards (picture Army boot camp scenes in campy movies).
The Tough Mudder, according to their site, “Tough Mudder events are hardcore 10-12 mile obstacle courses designed by British Special Forces to test your all around strength, stamina, mental grit, and camaraderie.”
Then, one day, I got an email, and this all just got silly. Introducing Iron Warrior Dash. “Iron Warrior Dash is an extension of the 5k course and is approximately 15-20 miles long.”
This is a neighbor feud in obstacle race form.
“Hey, dude, I’ve got a 3 mile run with obstacles that will totally – ”
“Wait bro, shut up, check this, a TEN to TWELVE mile obstacle course. You don’t “race” this, you “perform this!” … like comaraderie and stuff!!”
“Psh. Try this on for size. 15 – TWENTY miles. What’s that? Your name is Hoover? Because you suck.”
That’s how I picture the marketing teams for the two groups interacting. I will go ahead and skip ahead a few years and introduce you to …
Death be Damned! Fun Run
- A 5-day, 110 mile obstacle course run!
- Start at one side of the state of Connecticut and run across it!
- Could you die? Maybe. But you could also come out of this with some tots mcgots sweet pictures.
- Boo yah kah-what? Boo yah kah SHAH!
- Befriend hunters, get them to kill some deer, and present venison to a panel of judges to make it past one of 427 obstacles!
Here are some of the many other obstacles!
- Pick ticks off your fellow runners bodies to prevent LYME DISEASE! TO THE EXTREME!
- Run through the backyard of a upper class white male wearing a sweater tied over his shoulders!
- Battle exhaustion, fatigue, and hallucinations as you live off the land! (Careful of poisonous mushrooms!)
- Canoe through some of Connecticut’s finest creeks!
Possibly lethal! Outrageously fun! See you there!
DumbFunnery 