The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘humor’

Pregnancy Lego Kit

Lego, you owe me one (and you are welcome to pay me back in Legos … I really, really like Legos).

How about a Pregnancy Lego Kit! No, really, hear me out.

Lego is CLEARLY marketing itself toward geeks ages 20 – 40. A Voltron set? A James Bond car set? All the INCREDIBLY fancy, awesome, and VERY expensive Star Wars things? (See: $800 Millinium Falcon, $350 Cloud City, $500 Death Star, and on and on.) And you know what? It is working. I want all of it. ALL OF IT.

There is a kit that is $40 from the Lego site, $32.99 from Target right now (not that I’m paying attention) and it is just a bunch of figures doing outdoorsy stuff. One of them is a dad wearing a Bjorne with his baby inside it. I WANT THAT.

I would also guess that most of the Legos are being purchased by males. So this Lego Pregnancy Kit would be a fantastic gift for a soon-to-be (or already-is) father. But, I’m an equal opportunity Lego lover, it would also make a great gift for soon-to-be (or already-are) moms.

The kit would include:

  • a TV
  • a couch
  • two guys and two ladies to cover your bases for same sex couples or not
  • cleaning supplies
  • a nursery (one wall could be blank, one wall could have a sticker on it of some classic nursery look)
  • painting supplies
  • little Lego heads that are terrified on one side and happy on the other side
  • a fridge
  • a fast food bag
  • a little bag with clothes in it
  • etc, etc.
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You could also include an ewok just because they’re adorable little guys.

The sky’s the limit here, people.

Hop to, Lego. I’ll take whatever you want as my prize (hint: Lego guy with baby in the Bjorne.)

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Du Jour of the Week

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Working Harder, Not Smarter

DumbFunnery fans, rejoice! We have some exciting news for you! That’s right, we are finally getting a book published.

The book, The Idiot’s Guide to Working Harder, Not Smarter will be hitting the shelves this year sometime in mid January. The book is following its own advice, publishing at a time that is considered awful for sales and publicity.

This will be the first in a new approach taken by ‘The Idiots Guide’ book series. Embracing the culture of the United States, which is seeking out the dumbest possible answer to all questions (for examples see: the news) the Idiots Guide series has decided to explain how to be a better idiot, rather than explaining complex topics in simpler terms.

Will this backfire? I don’t know. ZERO, I repeat ZERO market research was done in preparation for this new book. Experts were interviewed, but only so that we could question their stupid degrees and mock them for their ‘years of dedication and hard work’ (losers).

What can you expect if you buy this book? Expect a lot, or a little, I don’t care.

Some of the chapters in the book include, but are not limited to:

  • Mowing Your Lawn Naked and Removing Chopped Up Pine Cones from your Bits and Pieces
  • Literary References and THE DEVIL – What Your ‘Smart’ Coworkers Are Doing While Chanting in the Woods (and How to Stop Them!)
  • How Long Should I Laugh When Someone Says ‘Fart’?
  • Checking Out a Book From the Library, Then Losing It, Then Suing the Library for Some Asinine Reason
  • How to Look Up the Word ‘Asinine’ and Then Justifying Your Anger Over Someone Knowing a Word You Don’t Know

I’m going to stop there because ‘Working Harder, Not Smarter’ isn’t for free, you free-loading slop monkey.

Please, buy the book!

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Du Jour of the Week

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Attn: Ellen (9/26/18)

Front

Ellen367a

 

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen368b

 

 

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Here we see a depiction of the GOP attempting to woo more female voters. And, unfortunately, some women are drawn to awful relationships.

Come on lady, wake up!!!

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

 

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Attn: Ellen

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