The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘lego’

Pregnancy Lego Kit

Lego, you owe me one (and you are welcome to pay me back in Legos … I really, really like Legos).

How about a Pregnancy Lego Kit! No, really, hear me out.

Lego is CLEARLY marketing itself toward geeks ages 20 – 40. A Voltron set? A James Bond car set? All the INCREDIBLY fancy, awesome, and VERY expensive Star Wars things? (See: $800 Millinium Falcon, $350 Cloud City, $500 Death Star, and on and on.) And you know what? It is working. I want all of it. ALL OF IT.

There is a kit that is $40 from the Lego site, $32.99 from Target right now (not that I’m paying attention) and it is just a bunch of figures doing outdoorsy stuff. One of them is a dad wearing a Bjorne with his baby inside it. I WANT THAT.

I would also guess that most of the Legos are being purchased by males. So this Lego Pregnancy Kit would be a fantastic gift for a soon-to-be (or already-is) father. But, I’m an equal opportunity Lego lover, it would also make a great gift for soon-to-be (or already-are) moms.

The kit would include:

  • a TV
  • a couch
  • two guys and two ladies to cover your bases for same sex couples or not
  • cleaning supplies
  • a nursery (one wall could be blank, one wall could have a sticker on it of some classic nursery look)
  • painting supplies
  • little Lego heads that are terrified on one side and happy on the other side
  • a fridge
  • a fast food bag
  • a little bag with clothes in it
  • etc, etc.
IMG_20180929_100159650

You could also include an ewok just because they’re adorable little guys.

The sky’s the limit here, people.

Hop to, Lego. I’ll take whatever you want as my prize (hint: Lego guy with baby in the Bjorne.)

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Attn: Ellen (12/12/12)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres Christmas

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres Christmas

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Gift shopping can be tough. But you know what’s not tough? Going to the mall to buy my dad and brother’s gifts but then buying myself the Lego Star Wars Advent Calendar. (It was on sale.)

I hope everyone else’s gift-buying is going a bit more smoothly.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?

Lego, You’ve Let Me Down

I can’t believe I said that. And, ready for another statement that doesn’t fit me? Today, I’m going to write a sincere post. Criticizing Lego. Lego!! I love those toys! But, they’ve ticked me off.

Recently Lego has introduced “Lego Friends,” Legos designed to appeal to girls. Check out their homepage versus Lego’s – and already it’s annoying.

Where to begin? I guess I’ll start with a disclaimer. I’m a white dude in the US, so I’m the worst possible source when it comes to talking about feeling like anything is stacked against me. Nevertheless, here I am about to complain about a new Lego marketing scheme and how I find it sexist.

When I was in high school, I wrote for a local paper that was written entirely by teenagers. Another writer for it now writes for Time, which is just plain cool. I was trying to think of an article for the paper, and my sister suggested an idea. Look at the colors at a toy store, how the aisles are so clearly steered towards boys or girls. I noticed and thought, yeah that stinks but it makes sense. Kids get their idea of what they should be doing from their parents, and society, and I don’t want to get too far into that but frankly I think people should play with whatever toy they want to.

I didn’t write an article on that because it was a sincere, intelligent topic, and I don’t think I’m well-enough equipped to do that. I brushed it off as it-is-what-it-is and moved on.

It really stinks, though, with science toys. Science toys are boy colors! Yes, science and engineering fields are dominated by men, but you know what?, steering girls toward kitchens and boys toward super cool beakers that when you add stuff oooh it’s changing colors or bubbling or check out this volcano stuff explodes out of it!! kind of reinforces that trend.

Legos are boy colors. But, they’re Legos!! Everybody loves them! When you go in a Lego store, it’s all happiness! Look at these things!

Then, one day at work, I found out about Lego Friends. These purple-draped boxes assault the eyes when you walk in the store. Yes, Legos were already “boy”-oriented colors but by having a set that is so catered to girls, the whole store is now divided. Those awesome Star Wars, ninja, Harry Potter, pirates, and city Legos are for boys, and these purple-boxed houses, and puppies and sunshine are for girls.

That really annoys me.

You can make a house, and puppies, and sunshine in the same colored boxes as the other Legos! Why do they need to be different colors!

I was saying this rant at a store just a week or two ago when I actually looked closely at one of the boxes. You’ve GOT to be kidding me! Check out the Lego here, versus the traditional Lego.

They have thinner arms! Well, the whole thing is different. The arms stuck out to me the most. There are girl and boy figures that come with the set, and both have the new build (so Lego isn’t saying girls should have thinner arms than boys), but I still find it obnoxious.

I wrote this because I’ve already given this speech to a couple friends in real life, and I’m still annoyed, so I figured I’d rant on my blog (how appropriate). I am still going to be happy when I look at Legos, and occasionally buy some despite being an adult without the excuse of having children (although if ever questioned I always say it’s for my nephew). BUT, I would be happier if Lego would drop the new color scheme.

Shoot, put all the Legos in plain, boring-colored boxes. They’re LEGOS! They’re still the coolest toy out there right now.

Oh, and also, Lego, if you’re listening, when you put an age range on the box, you don’t need to specify an upper age. I’m an adult buying Legos, I already know I’m a grown child, you don’t need to reinforce this by telling me I’m buying a product intended for ages 6-12, I’m well aware.

I’ll be back to the regularly scheduled mindless drivel tomorrow.

Sex in Space? Try These Out of this World Pick-Up Lines!

Sex in space – has it happened? According to this article, “Former and current astronauts don’t like to talk about space-shuttle sex, and NASA says that if it’s ever happened, the agency doesn’t know anything about it.”

I’m not here to comment on if there has been sex-space or not, but I will give some guesses on what lines were used to kick off the sexxins. Yes, I’d like to present …

 

Out of this World Pick-Up Lines

(Yes, the title is that bad.)

 

 

 

 

Gimbal, according to this, is defined as: “A device with two mutually perpendicular and intersecting axes of rotation, thus giving free angular movement in two directions, on which an engine or other object may be mounted.”

If that’s not a pick-up line for the ages I don’t know what is.

***

Special thanks to my parents for getting me the LEGO Space Shuttle as a Christmas gift (after we tried and failed to see a launch.)

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