The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘humor’

Little Squirrel, Big Plans

Tetons 12

Here we see Edward Vil, he is a squirrel. He stands at 7.8 inches tall, he has 20/20 vision, and he is a scorpio. What you may not know, but may have guessed, is that he lives outside.

E. Vil is not your average squirrel, he has a peanut allergy and wants to destroy all humans. He is also not an especial fan of dogs or birds.

Surprisingly, he finds bears to be adorable, and loves going to sleep at night listening to coyotes howling.

If you happen to meet E. Vil, I would recommend running away or he may try to capture you and brainwash you to be a part of his evil E. Vil army. Confusingly, he may instead just want a hug or to talk about the Texans hopes for next season. (If you are confused by him wanting to destroy all humans AND liking the NFL, you clearly don’t watch much NFL.)

I’d also like to add, on a personal note, E. Vil is charming, funny, quick-witted, and very intelligent.

Also, full disclosure, while conducting the interview of E. Vil, he did in fact brainwash me.

 

 

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Attn: Ellen (7/20/16)

Front

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Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

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The text of the postcard is

Giraffes are awesome
They’re nature’s way of saying
Weird solutions work

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

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Attn: Ellen

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(Trail) Running Thoughts

  • M.C Escher must have designed this jog … I think it was uphill on the way out, and somehow uphill on the way back.escher_stairs
  • Oh man cereal is so amazing. I can’t wait to be eating cereal.
  • I feel like I’m in one of those westerns where someone gets dragged out to the middle of nowhere and they have to find their way back to humanity despite only having half a container of water and feeling deserted and afraid. Except it was my own stupid ambitions and energy and first half of the jog self that dragged me out here.
  • Is everyone I jog by less tired than me? I think everyone is less tired than me.
  • Woah. I feel like I must have looked like a STUD taking that hill! Man, I feel good! (2 seconds go by) Oh God. Time to stop and walk for ten minutes.

    photo(1)

    Once I can jog this trail by my house without stopping to walk I’ll allow myself to buy this shirt. A shirt like this has to be earned, you know.

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