I got this ring at Claire’s (the jewelry store in what seems every mall). I thought it’d be funny to post this picture on Facebook and say ‘she said maybe!’ because the ring cost about 7 dollars … The girlfriend (now fiance!) did not share in my delight about this joke. So here it is … Blog worthy.
Here’s an assumption I feel comfortable making – zombies don’t buy people Christmas gifts. Heck, I’d even assume zombies don’t buy other zombies Christmas gifts. It just doesn’t jive.
You’re with me on this assumption, right? Of course.
But then …
But then I come in my apartment, I go to wash laundry, and like my mom the whole month of December the Zombie quickly slammed the door, grabbed a bag, held it like it was a prized possession, gave me a dirty look and sprinted from the room.
Only with mom I always thought, “Christmas gift!,” I never thought, “Christmas gift! … Or dead body parts … Hmm.”
Either way I guess I’ll get the Zombie something. Any ideas on what? I’m going to keep thinking, maybe check out the mall this weekend. If nothing else I may just give the Zombie my permission to go eat a few bratty kids at the mall. (Tis the season?)
“How would you like to LOOK and FEEL better!?!?!”
“As a hobby, I hate myself, so that would be bad.”
—
“Excuse me sir … excuse me …”
(Mistake of acknowledging the mall kiosk person exists.)
“Do you celebrate Christmas?”
“Nope.”
—
(Cute salesgirl approaches …)
“Are you looking for anything in particular?”
“Do you know which section a book by <Insert author that I think she might like> would be?”
—
“You know that’s a woman’s sweater …?”
“Yeah! Hahaha! … It’s for … My girlfriend … She’s built like me? … Or … Uh … Shoot.”
DumbFunnery 