Did you know I’m doing a haiku a day this year? You didn’t? Are you, like, not even paying attention to me? That … No, it’s fine. We can talk later.
Oh, hi reader, sorry about that. I have a Twitter account, just like the president of the United States! And, just like the president, sometimes I tweet nonsense, sometimes I tweet complaining about people.
Here are my January haiku tweets. (And here is my Twitter account.)
January 1
Wife’s cold is awful
Ah that classic tourist spot:
A Czech hospital
January 2
Sick wife, three BIG bags
Please train ride be nice and calm …
Oh, hello bomb threat
January 3
Flying friendly skies
Really, it’s Air Canada
AHHH! They’re speaking FRENCH!
January 4
Back to work today
Hey! I feel ok! … Uh oh,
Jet lag sneak attack
January 5
Wife’s cough is a beast
World tour of docs continues
Drugs, work your magic!
January 6
Thank God it’s Friday
Weekend of football and sleep
Which sounds heavenly
January 7
My wife and I share
Snacks, blankets, feelings and colds
We’re adorbs that way
January 8 (they played the Pats)
The Texans advanced!
Who do they get to play next!
…Oh. Well. Good season.
January 9
MONDAY!? And still sick!?
Looks like a day for me-light
Like me, but less so
January 10
Clemson v Bama!
What a game! … I read today.
(Bedtime called early.)
January 11
I’m done with this task!
But wait, what if I tried this …
Three Days Later: aghhhhhhhh!
January 12
A day without news
If I don’t look, he’s not there
This sand is so warm
January 13
“Hmm, should I cancel?”
“Um, sir? May I transfer you?”
Comcast round 2: start …
January 14
Postcard writing fest
At a little coffee shop
For @theellenshow
January 15
Wife brought the dog home
A great kennel (her folks house)
Bit far though (Houston)
January 16
Ranger assistant
Phone interview yesterday
*Pushes glasses up*
January 17
It’s Planned Parenthood
Not called unPlanned Parenthood
You bunch of jackals
January 18
Went jogging last night
First jog in forty-five days
Oh, hi pain, missed you
January 19
Garmin watch ordered!
Because data is my friend
And I love running
January 20
Shout, scream, vent and groan
Then exhale all the anger
And bring calm kindness
January 21
Toastmasters event
Morning with speech loving geeks
Yeah that’s right, I’m cool
January 22 (a lame playoffs day)
Griping about news
But hopeful for good football
… Is this Trump’s fault too?
January 23
I expect to see
U.S. declares war on Mars
With each news update
January 24
It’s two years today
Since waxing poetic vows
With dear friends and fam
January 25
Two day training done
My brain is full and I’m now
Much more corporate
January 26
SNARK IN THE WATER!
Having dinner with a pal
When the snark arrived
January 27
Made a joke today
Where I referenced shutter speed
Nerd status maintained
January 28
Ramping up my jogs
But today I have a prize:
Huge cinnamon roll!
January 29
Wife and mom agree:
Politics driving me mad
But … Trump! … It’s just … TRUMP
January 30
Dear America,
<Sound like a goat being maimed>
So, that’s how I feel …
January 31
Working on scale tests
Little change here, small tweak there
And then wait … and wait …
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