The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘postcard’

Attn: Ellen (4/11/14)

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Ellen165a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen165b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Big news! I tell you, this will make your week (because I am such a big factor in your life). Anywho …

I’m engaged!

After lots of secret planning the day arrived and I popped the question around sunrise at the top of Enchanted Rock (get it?). Apparently, my girlfriend (fiancé) who is a therapist, can determine when I am acting unusually and I had shown my hand.

But I bet she’ll be shocked at my other news … I’m pregnant.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?

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Attn: Ellen

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Attn: Ellen (4/2/14)

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Ellen164a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

 Ellen164b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Recently I have come to two realizations: 1, I am a romantic; 2, society needs to lower its expectations for what makes a romantic.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?

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Attn: Ellen

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Attn: Ellen (3/26/14)

Front

Ellen163a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

 Ellen163b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I have a unique problem. I have been to 3 events with my girlfriend’s family where a lot of the same folks have showed up. At 2 of the 3 I have worn bright pink pants.

(The first time was an ugly sweater Christmas party so it was to be funny. The second was a party at a horse track where we dressed like a formal derby party so it actually made sense.) (I swear I rarely wear those pants except for that.)

The problem is: I think her family thinks I’m an enthusiastic Peptop Bismol salesman (they really are bright pink pants.) Do you have any advice for me?

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com or @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

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Attn: Ellen

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