The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘Wolf’

One Carry-On Per Passenger

I can imagine a future where humans and wolves live side-by-side. Not unlike in cartoons or the foxes in Fantastic Mr. Fox, the wolves would dress appropriate to their occupation or current activity.

The wolves would have broken with their old habits and would not kill humans if threatened or hunt in the woods for survival (they might, like some humans, happen to enjoy hunting).

At schools, churches, bad local theatre productions, you would see human and wolf, side-by-side, co-workers, chums, friendly rivals, aggrieved neighbors, each just doing their thing.

But there is one thing the wolves could never leave behind despite their evolutionary leap. Any time you fly, and I mean ANY TIME, you’ll be standing there (you as a human) and there will be a wolf next to you in line, both of you waiting to get boarding passes. And suddenly you think you’ll hear the little yip of a toddler wolf and the wolf next to you in line will kick its pack gently and then look at you with an embarrassed smile and say, “I’ve got some bags of chips in there … Rustling around and such.” Sure, wolf, you’ll think to yourself, sure.

Later when you get to security you’ll keep your eyes peeled for your wolf pal to see if anything interesting happens. And there it is, the wolf, talking with a security person, the security person unzipping the wolves bag and sure enough, two young wolves are inside looking around, happy to no longer be in an enclosed space.

And the wolf, pleading with the security office can be heard to say, “but I can’t go anywhere without my wolf pack!”

My Zombie Roomy (7/7/11)

This could be bad.

I was watching Wolf, starring Jack Nicholson and Michelle Pfeiffer, and suddenly the Zombie sat bolt upright.

If I had been Scooby Doo I would’ve said, “ruh roh.” I’m not Scooby Doo, so instead I said the human, four-letter equivalent of “ruh roh.”

That’s when the Zombie tried to howl like a wolf. It was like watching a cat bark. Not natural, but kind of funny. Only most barking cats don’t get up, walk out of your apartment, and disappear into the woods for a few days and come back with hair glued all over their clothes.

So I guess the Zombie is pretending to be a werewolf for a while? Let’s hope it’s a short phase, I keep having to vacuum and it is so annoying.

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