The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Dear DumbFunnery,

My girlfriend and I are debating taking our relationship to “the next step” and I’m not sure what she means. I mean, I think she might mean sex, that seems like the obvious thing. But she’s really never said more than “the next step.” I want to have sex, but I’m afraid it might mean marriage. Is it worth the risk?

Madly in Lust,
Des Moines, Iowa

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Dear Madlust,

Holy cow dude. That is really personal. How am I supposed to know? And seriously, you’re writing about your sex life to a stranger? What a weird guy you are.

Hope this helps.

.
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Dear DumbFunnery,

How do you tell someone you think they smell like cabbage, without coming across really mean?

Hates Cabbage
Sunshine, Alaska

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Dear Cabbage,

This is such a classic problem I’m not even going to address it.

Next time give me a challenge.

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Dear DumbFunnery,

ohm y God. im crying. i am hartbroken how do you get over the luv of your life?

lost wthout love

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Dear … You,

With time.

On a lighter note – your letter conveys clearly that you are stupid.

All the best,
Me

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Dear DumbFunnery,

How do you go about deciding if what you’re doing is worth it? I enjoy what I do, but I feel like

sometimes I’m doing things just to please other people and not at all for myself. How do I even start

with trying to figure out what is best for myself, and others?

Confused and Trying

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Dear C&T,

I’m not a doctor and this is a bit unorthodox but I think your lymph node is swollen. Please get it checked out soon.

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