The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Attn: Ellen (12/19/12)


Ellen DeGeneres Christmas poem

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres Christmas poem

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

It’s crunch time for presents,
That one person is left.
Though crowds are full of tyrants …
You can’t leave that one bereft.

(And pst, what’s with that one?
The one you can never figure out,
Leaving your to-do list undone
That non-gift-inspiring lout.)

You head out to a nearby store
Seeking gift idea motivation
Oh, look, there’s something so-and-so would adore!
But you’re set there, you think with aggravation.

Then you see a weirdly realistic looking cat shaped soap dispenser
If it can’t be perfect – here’s a simple rule – go for tacky
(The soap comes out of an orifice not associated with a cleanser)
From me to you, I hope your holidays are delightfully wacky!


Why am I doing this?

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