DumbFunnery

Charlie Sheen’s Most Popular Body Part

We live in a strange, strange world my friends.

About two years ago all of the Charlie Sheen craziness was happening. (You know, when he said stuff like, “Dying is for fools. Amateurs.” This website has a number of his gems.) I took the opportunity to write a silly blog post (because I do that about everything, anyway) and it has led to a really unexpected result.

My blog post talked about Charlie Sheen’s different body parts using crazy phrases (it was a ton of fun to write). One of the body parts was, “You Know …” and the accompanying tag was “Charlie Sheen’s penis.” Here’s what I said about that body part:

Try this on for size – Charlie as a whole is an F-16. Ok. Fine. That’s good. Know what I am? I am your recurring nightmare wrapped in silk and piloting the Death Star without even trying and when I do try, man, you have to watch out because life. can’t. handle. this. Ohmigod I just invented gravity again. Now it travels at 9.9 meters per second squared. Feel heavier? Sorry, deal with it. I already adjusted and broke all Carl Lewis’ records in track and field.

Oh, two year ago self, how innocent and naive you were. Take a look at this weird result. These are search terms that have led people to my blog.

At least whoever wanted to see a quokka had their request satisfied.

I’m not sure when it started, because I only recently started looking at the search terms that led to my blog on a somewhat-regular basis. But here are the results, as of today:

• charlie sheen penis – 37
• charlie sheen’s penis – 33
• charlie sheens penis – 25
• charlie sheen’s dick – 11
• charlie sheen cock – 11
• charlie sheen penis pic – 9
• charlie sheen dick pic – 7
• charlie sheen cock pic – 6
• charlie sheens dick – 6
• charlie sheen penis pictures – 5
• charlie sheen penis picture – 5
• charlie sheen cock pics – 5
• charlie sheens cock – 5
• charlie sheen penis shot – 4
• pictures of charlie sheen’s penis – 4
• charlie sheen’s penis picture – 3
• picture of charlie sheen’s cock – 3
• charlie sheens penis pic – 3
• picture of charlie sheen dick – 3
• charlie sheen dick pics – 3

Ok, I had to stop. This is really weird. My blog is not popular AT ALL and yet people type this in and end up coming to my blog? Really? My blog is not first page of results material unless you include “dumbfunnery” in your search. How weird are people?

I realize this post will probably lead even more misguided internet weirdos to my blog, but you know what?, maybe this will be their wake up call (doubtful, but it’ll get me more hits).

I’m feeling very disturbed. I’m going to go watch cartoons and pretend I live in a simpler, nicer world.