The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Attn: Ellen (1/21/15)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

In preparation for moving into my fiancé’s apartment (the wedding is Saturday!) I have been moving things to her place and had furniture donated.

My place looks like it was robbed by a book loving, summer clothes wearing, poster fan who didn’t like my couch or TV.

And for that, I thank you, imaginary criminal.

Wish me luck with this whole marriage thing, eh?

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?

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