The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Archive for September, 2015

Perfect Preparation Makes Blah Blah

My wife and I, by the time you are reading this, will (hopefully) be back in Houston after a challenging but enjoyable 5 day hike. Or perhaps four and a half. But five sounds more impressive.

One of my wife’s concerns for this trip is the showering situation: there will be no showers.

For this trip my wife and I did lots to prepare. We drove to elevation in Texas (that’s no small feat), Big Bend National Park and we did a 15 mile hike that involved elevation gain and loss. The next day, in lots of pain, we settled for a four mile hike.

We’ve also got bug wipes, wet wipes, quick dry towels, fancy backpacks, giant water containers, and … cleaning wipes. These will be the substitute for showering. But what my wife doesn’t know is … I’ve been preparing for a lack of showers all my life:

  • After working out, even if it is drenched in sweat inducing, I will saunter about the homestead making dinner, chilling out, sometimes even going to sleep, all before showering (my wife has put a stop to that last activity because it is “gross”)
  • If, again, before marriage, I would come home and my apartment would reek I would be grossed out … and impressed
  • The summer my parents bought a house with a pool in the backyard I didn’t bathe for at least a week, possibly two … When the longest time between being in the pool and not being in the pool is 7 hours, who needs bathing? (Note: I was 18 at this time)

So, hopefully soon you’ll see some pictures from our trip, and hear about our adventures.

Brazos Bend State Park

Brazos Bend State Park

Pretty fun trash can to start our day at Brazos Bend State Park.

 

Brazos Bend State Park

I wanted to walk up to this group of bird watchers and say, “cat stuck up in the tree, huh? Silly cats.”

 

Brazos Bend State Park

Rover?! ROOOOOVERRRRRRR!!

 

Brazos Bend State Park

I was reading a sign when I looked up and saw an alligator walking toward me, about 5 feet away. I scurried away and was able to take this photo of an alligator caution sign along with an alligator. What a ham.

 

Brazos Bend State Park

Brazos Bend State Park

A Brazos Bend traffic jam … supplied by a gator.

 

Brazos Bend State Park

A better angle of Mr. Traffic Jam himself – he must’ve been at least 8 feet long. Yikes.

Attn: Ellen (9/23/15)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

How about this postcard, huh? My sister got me a set of SIX of these! All the exact same. So, what should I do with the five remaining Neapolitan cat cones? Any celebrity pals you want me to send one to? Or any other ideas?

What can I say – these postcards have me in a cat … atonic state.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?