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Attn: Ellen (10/19/16)

Front

ellen282a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

ellen282b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

With baseball postseason here, or as I call it, ‘even more baseball,’ I’ve got a proposal to improve attendance for MLB’s 726 game season.

Have someone come out with a 9-sided die, roll it, and that’s how many innings the game will be.

Now:

“Hey honey, want to watch a bunch of guys stand around for 2 hours, 45 minutes, and sprint randomly for 15 minutes?”
“No.”

With my improvement:

“Hey honey, want to watch a few innings of baseball, AND get hot dogs!?!”
“Yes!”

I’m available for consulting, MLB.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR @DumbFunnery

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Attn: Ellen

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Attn: Ellen (10/12/16)

Front

ellen281a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

ellen281b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

My wife is on a quest to find every possible sentence in the English language to express disinterest in football.

It’s pretty cool to be part of history being made.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?

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Attn: Ellen

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Attn: Ellen (10/5/16)

Front

ellen280a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

ellen280b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Can you imagine how rampant skin cancer would be if we peeled like trees lose leaves?

… I just realized this is like what my wife says – sometimes I say something or make a joke without explaining fully what I mean.

So uh, fall is like a tree having it’s skin peel from being in the sun all summer. Ha? Funny?

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?

Category:

Attn: Ellen

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