The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘playoffs’

Attn: Ellen (5/30/18)

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Ellen351a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

 

Ellen351b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

You know how NBA players commit a foul, a ref blows the whistle, and the player looks around, arms thrown up in the air, as though they are shocked and disgusted?

Whenever my wife reminds me of something I forgot to do I’m going to react like that. Backup plan – I’ll sweat as much as one of those dudes and she’ll never be in the same room as me.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR @DumbFunnery

P.S. Seriously, they each sweat approximately one Nile River / game.

Why am I doing this?

 

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Attn: Ellen

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Attn: Ellen (5/17/17)

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Ellen309a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen309b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I don’t know much about hockey, but I do like watching it.

With the playoffs going, I like to watch and make up fake slang to impress my wife.

“Oh yah, well he leaked the net real nice, basically re-doing the whole upholstery and all he’s got to show for it is a horse-sized vitamin, ya know?”

Neat, huh?

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR
@DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

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Attn: Ellen

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Attn: Ellen (10/19/16)

Front

ellen282a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

ellen282b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

With baseball postseason here, or as I call it, ‘even more baseball,’ I’ve got a proposal to improve attendance for MLB’s 726 game season.

Have someone come out with a 9-sided die, roll it, and that’s how many innings the game will be.

Now:

“Hey honey, want to watch a bunch of guys stand around for 2 hours, 45 minutes, and sprint randomly for 15 minutes?”
“No.”

With my improvement:

“Hey honey, want to watch a few innings of baseball, AND get hot dogs!?!”
“Yes!”

I’m available for consulting, MLB.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

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Attn: Ellen

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