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Archive for the ‘My Zombie Roomy’ Category

My Zombie Roomy (5/1/12)

Sometimes in life, you get lucky. You meet someone amazing. You end up dating this person and everything is wonderful and you wake up so excited and happy to have that person in your life. Then, after some time, you begin to see this person not as some source of drool-worthy adoration but as your boyfriend/girlfriend, and that’s that. You lose the awe (with occasional flashes).

It’s unfortunate, but it happens. In my opinion, it’s also a necessary step in a relationship.

On the flip side, you may date someone and think what an a-hole but you lose sign of the a-holery, and you just take it for granted that that’s how things are.

Why am I saying all this? It’s weird, but that’s the best way I can put how I’ve felt about the Zombie the past two months. I realized with some regret that it’s been two months since I’ve written about him but you know what? In those two months some REALLY WEIRD things have happened.

I’m going to be better about keeping you posted about this guy. I have to remind myself that not everyone has an undead roommate, so I can’t be all blasé about it.

This is a teaser of an update. I’ll tell you one quick thing. This started about three weeks ago. The Zombie (maybe some house nearby is being built and he found paint there?) has taken to eating paint. And, never to be a one-step-weirdo kind of guy, he then stabs a little hole in his belly and leaves a trail walking around at night.

I know it’s him because I’ve had to clean my carpet a number of times. Also the path leading to my apartment. And I’ve followed him a few nights (like I said before, I’m very single right now).

(Oh and guess what, the Zombie has no sense of direction! I hopped on my bike one day and followed around his last few nights worth of paint-trails and he goes in so many circles.)

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My Zombie Roomy

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My Zombie Roomy (3/6/12)

I’ve heard, possibly read (I really can’t remember) that dogs can be very in tune with your emotional state. They know when you’re down, and using their keen dog intellect they don’t make you take them for a walk right before bed? Who knows.

Anyway. I think the Zombie has something like this going on.

I am what I would call “actively single” right now. That’s another way of saying I haven’t been on a date in a while. The usual signs are there. I’m eating healthier. I’m exercising a lot. I’m reading more. It’s terrible. I do these things to primp myself until I trick some pretty lady into dating me, then BOOM, back to eating whatever I want and video games.

The Zombie, sweet undead fella that he is, has realized that in my actively single state I am wishing I had a girlfriend so I could be lazy. Also, you know, romance.

The last few hands I’ve caught him munching on have been men’s hands. With wedding rings on them. Isn’t the Zombino the sweetest?

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My Zombie Roomy (1/19/12)

Before I left to go home for Christmas and New Year’s the Zombie and I made a list of sorts of New Year’s resolutions for he and I both to work on. We did this after the gift exchange.

(Which I guess went well? He got me a crappy watch with blood stains on it, and he really wanted me to try it on, so I had to pretend to hurt my wrist. Later I cleaned it up some, which then made me wonder if I was tampering with evidence, but he can be like a little kid and get so sad if he feels like you don’t appreciate something so I figured a cop would understand why I did what I did. Also I was really drunk which probably hampered my thinking.)

I was gone for about a week, and then since I got back I’ve been pretty busy so I guess he got upset? I don’t know. But here’s the New Year’s Resolution list the day we made it …

And here it is earlier today, when I finally noticed it.

Maybe that’s his way of saying he needs to eat better? Or a call for help? Or anger? And where did he get that cookie? And how was the cookie so burnt on the bottom but just right on top? Oh yeah, I ate it. Should I not have? So many questions, so few cookies. What’s the world coming to?

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