The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘cookie’

My Zombie Roomy (1/19/12)

Before I left to go home for Christmas and New Year’s the Zombie and I made a list of sorts of New Year’s resolutions for he and I both to work on. We did this after the gift exchange.

(Which I guess went well? He got me a crappy watch with blood stains on it, and he really wanted me to try it on, so I had to pretend to hurt my wrist. Later I cleaned it up some, which then made me wonder if I was tampering with evidence, but he can be like a little kid and get so sad if he feels like you don’t appreciate something so I figured a cop would understand why I did what I did. Also I was really drunk which probably hampered my thinking.)

I was gone for about a week, and then since I got back I’ve been pretty busy so I guess he got upset? I don’t know. But here’s the New Year’s Resolution list the day we made it …

And here it is earlier today, when I finally noticed it.

Maybe that’s his way of saying he needs to eat better? Or a call for help? Or anger? And where did he get that cookie? And how was the cookie so burnt on the bottom but just right on top? Oh yeah, I ate it. Should I not have? So many questions, so few cookies. What’s the world coming to?

How to Deal with Criminals – Poetry Style

Sometimes crime happens. And a criminals worst nightmare might by a little poetry. Memorize these, they could save you some grief.


Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
If I put down my gun
So should you


Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?
No, because summer never stole my favorite shoes.
Please give them back.


Sweet as a cookie,
Sharp as a tack.
My car was not bought
To experience carjack.


O captain, my captain
Where is my watch?
Seriously … who took my watch.


The devil dances
And dines
And devours
The unwary travelers of life
You’re not the devil
But you come close with that knife


What is life?
What is the purpose for all of this strife?
Who are we?
Please, anonymous hacker, un-steal my identity?

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