The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Meg and Tom

Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan have a history of movies where romance is found via new or non-traditional means … Telephone and letters (Sleepless in Seattle), email (You’ve Got Mail), and sea voyage to suicide (Joe Versus the Volcano).

As they get older what new romantic comedies starring these two will there be? Obviously the films will need to continue the tradition of romance blossoming due to something odd, preferably with modern technology. But what will it be next time?

#SingleAndTrending

That’s right! #SingleAndTrending‘s coming this winter to a theater near you!

Meet Dave, a 50-something with a divorce/deceased spouse/some traditional explanation of him having a child. Dave is visiting his daughter in hip Austin, Texas and she explains to him what Instagram is all about!

“Dad, it’s like … You just post what you’re doing!”

What follows is a comical montage of a really boring Instagram account with absurdly long and dumb hashtags! With just enough mild daring your grandma will say “ooh!” while laughing.

And meet Gal, a 50-something woman who’s just discovered her husband is having an affair! With a younger woman!! And they met on twitter!!! Ahhhh!!!!

Gal decides to join Instagram as a form of … self-therapy? I don’t know. Someone should work that plot point out.

Gal and, what was the guy’s name?, Dave?, end up unknowingly being the only two people to use the same verbose and over-the-top-odd hashtags that lead to … Love.

#YouKnowThatThingWhereYouWakeUpAndYouHaveToPeeAndSoYouJustPeeInABucketYouKeepBesideTheBed? #JustKidding

Can you imagine? That’s the #hashtag that started it all! I guess you could say Dave and Gal were … #SingleAndTrending.

Make sure you’re trending this winter by seeing this future Meg and Tom classic!

Heck, if they used the same studio, they could just re-use an old poster with a little photoshop magic? (I picked Joe Versus the Volcano as Meg Ryan is at the top of her game in this flick.)

Attn: Ellen (9/2/15)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

While this method of sorting mail proved effective, it was also unfortunately adopted by Texas as an outlook on life: “Texan,” or “Nope … Nope, Nope.”

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?

Here’s What You Do

You know what? The next time someone around you is coughing a lot you should look at them like they’re nuts and then when the coughing fit stops say, “you must have a lot of caffeine in your body!” and when they look at you like you’re nuts that’s when you deliver the news, “because you’re so cough-y.” You’ll probably have to laugh a lot because I bet they won’t.

Cough-y. Coffee. Get it?!