DumbFunnery

In high school I wrote for a paper that was written by teenagers from various high schools, and then printed and distributed by the city’s paper (the Savannah Morning News). The paper was called “Savvy.” Clever, huh? It was a great thing for the Savannah Morning News to do, and a great experience. I was lucky to have an editor who let me write stupid nonsense (much like this blog). I applied to write for the paper from the “I’m a Military Brat” angle – so every once and a while I would do Military-related pieces.

Since I’m home for Thanksgiving, I found this old article I wrote and decided to use that for this Weekly Wacko. Hope you enjoy it.

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Hometown: Life on the Move

“Hey, where ya from?”

Many times when you meet a person, this is one of the first questions you would ask. In most cases you then receive a casual answer. “Savannah” or “Waycross” or any other number of towns in Georgia.

Well if you ask a person who has a parent in the military, or is just plain lucky enough to move around a lot, then it might not be so simple.

When I first moved here my biology teacher asked me to tell the class a little bit about myself – you know, what your name is, where you’re from. Well, the class probably thought I was weird from that moment on. I, like some of my rover friends, get a kind of dumb and confused look on my face when asked where we’re from. We nomads tend to go on and on about different places we’ve lived.

The list isn’t so long for me because I’ve lived in a relatively small number of places compared to others. Some people take a good 15 minutes summing up the laundry list of past homes. After going through this list, the person who asked the question usually does on of a couple things: 1) sneak away slowly, leaving you thinking you’re still talking to someone; 2) become dumbfounded after hearing only the second place you’ve lived; 3) become really impressed (OK, so I’m dreaming there).

Everyone knows how rough it is to start at a new school by their experience with starting junior high and high school. Well, imagine doing that over and over and over again. It gets annoying.

Although, it can also be cool. When I’m around gullible people I tell them that although I miss Alaska, I miss my pet polar bear Fuzzy the most. Or if you’re going for the cool bad boy look, you could say, “Yeah, my dad’s not really in the Army. It’s just cuz I keep getting kicked out of all the schools at those other states.”

Honestly though, this, like everything in life, has its ups and downs. You just have to roll with the punches, keep an open mind and stay light-hearted. So sure I don’t have a hometown, but who needs one? Not having a hometown makes for good conversation. In fact, elite readers, you should try out an adopt-a-rover program. Make an effort and say “hey” to the new kid. They might seem odd when they break out in a heavy sweat over seemingly simple questions, but there’s a chance they’re normal.

And, for that person’s sake, don’t ask him/her where he/she is from. Say something like, “So, where have you lived?”

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I hadn’t re-read this til now, and I find it funny that I’m a bit aw-shucks-preachy. I am that way in a lot of short stories I write (that I’ll one day post – so stay tuned?!).

Someone who wrote for Savvy the same time as me now writes for Vanity Fair, so would you look at that. So, Feifei Sun, Miss professional author – thank you for the advice on starting the blog and facebook blabbing for me.

Happy belated T-Day everyone!