The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘art critic’

Attn: Ellen (9/25/13)



Back (apologies for my handwriting!)


The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Don’t you think it’s amazing how misunderstood some artists can be? For example, this is one “art critic’s”* review of this wonderful painting: Eye floaters are small moving spots that appear in your field of vision. They may be especially noticeable when you look at something bright, such as white paper (or an empty canvas).

Critics, huh? What goons.


*Maybe this was not something from a critique but instead from WebMD.

Why am I doing this?

Early Art Critic


~41,000 years ago, in a cave somewhere in Spain …

Dale: Ok what have we got here?
Ernie: This was done last week by Todd, with some input by Roger.
Dale: Oh I definitely see Roger in this. Yes. His style comes across loud and clear.
Ernie: You say that … almost …
Dale: With disappointment? Yes. I’m SICK of Roger. Roger, you have hands, we get it. Ok?
Ernie: So you don’t like this piece?
Dale: Come now, ‘don’t like’ is such a trite phrase.
Ernie: What would you say then?
Dale: I think the simplest thing to say would be that I find his use of shadows condescending and, frankly, pedantic.
Ernie: Well … we’re in a cave.
Dale: Yes.
Ernie: So … you know … there are gonna be shadows.
Dale: Ugh. You still have so much to learn about being a critic.

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