The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘awesome’

Texas, the Original Honey Badger?

You may be aware of the reference to the ‘honey badger video.’ If not, here you go. And mom, careful, this guy likes to cuss.

If you don’t want to watch it – I’ll sum it up. The honey badger is a real tough guy, he does what he wants and takes crap from no one. Remind you of anyone? (At least, remind you of anyone in the sense that it’s how that someone likes to be perceived?)

That’s right, I’m here to say that Texas was the original honey badger.Owen P. White

I just bought a book called Texas: An Informal Biography. It was written by Owen P. White and  published in 1945, it was one dollar and it’s in fantastic condition. How is that not great? I read the little bit from that link I have on Owen P. White’s name, and I am now actually excited about this book not just for comedic reasons. He sounds interesting. But, I bought this book primarily because of the first few lines of the Introduction. Again, Texas, the original honey badger.

“Texas is one of God’s greatest and most gratifying experiments. When God created Texas He did so with the mischievous intention of providing men who had no fear of Him, if only they could conquer it, with an empire of their own of stupendous wealth and unbounded opportunity. Thus Texas was His challenge to the tall, the tough, and the ugly to come and get it.”

You can pretty easily guess that I read this with a ridiculous accent, and am already excited about a video where I read excerpts of this while wearing a cowboy hat and standing around at a bayou.

The Great Gatsby, and the Teenage Girl

Yesterday I posted quotes from a book I really like – The Great Gatsby. I re-read this recently for book club, and I enjoyed it. I bought a used copy from a Half Price Bookstore (I have a nice copy at my parent’s house, along with all the other books I read in high school).

Normally I look for a nice, clean looking copy – but I settled for this one despite seeing that some lines were underlined. I’m glad I did. The previous owner turned out to be Adrienne, as seen from this stamp. Adrienne is a pretty keen and funny girl, and I would’ve liked to have been her friend in high school.

Hopefully you’ll find her little notes as amusing as I did.

 

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Quotes of the Day!

The following are quotes from The Pirates! in an Adventure with Communists by Gideon Defoe. The first quote is on page 1, the book starts dumb/stupid/awesome and ends that way.

 

The pirates were sat in the boat’s kitchen arguing over what the proper protocol was for dealing with a drunken pirate. After the debate about whether sea anemones made better pretend mustaches or better pretend eyebrows when you stuck them to your face, this was easily the pirates’ favorite topic of conversation.

 

They deliberately parked across two disabled spaces, because that kind of behavior was pretty much the whole point of being a pirate.

 

‘I’m fluent, thank you. Almost like a native,’ said the Captain, with a scowl. The Pirate Captain knew the French for ‘This is a pretty donkey’ and also ‘This is not a pretty donkey’, and he couldn’t think of anything that wasn’t either a pretty donkey or not a pretty donkey, so that was just about every eventuality covered.

 

‘You know when the Pirate Captain says something like, “I may lead a secret double life as a spy? Or maybe I don’t. Who’s to say?’ and then he arches an eyebrow? That’s enigmatic.’
‘Ah. I always thought that was just annoying.’