The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘cabin’

Attn: Ellen (11/16/16)

Front

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Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

ellen286b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Peaceful looking cabin, right?

But what if I told you a mean old man lived there.

He’s actually got a heart of gold outside that rough exterior?

But he only ever has vanilla ice cream – no sprinkles, or chocolate chips, or ANYTHING.

The ice cream is homemade and the best vanilla ice cream in the world?

But … it’s vanilla. Like, come on, man.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR @DumbFunnery

(Card from: underatreeprints.com)

Why am I doing this?

Break for Good Bears (Cabin Yard Art)

Just your average, friendly neighborhood bear.

Just your average, friendly neighborhood bear.

Oh great, bears are starting to wear armor and carry weapons? I'm OUT.

Oh great, bears are starting to wear armor and carry weapons? I’m OUT.

Looks cute until you learn the bear on the bottom is a cannibal bear - looking for lunch.

Looks cute until you learn the bear on the bottom is a cannibal bear – looking for lunch.

Reminder: Someone paid to have this done.

Reminder: Someone paid to have this done.

AMAZING!

AMAZING!

Keeping Up With the Latest in Entertainment

On Netflix instant play they now have The X-Files. What a show, am I right!?

I didn’t watch The X-Files when it first came on TV because, frankly, it scared me. And you know what? It still kind of scares me.

I remember living in Kansas, hanging out in the basement playing the game Myst on the family computer and my brother and sister watching The X-Files. The soundtrack for that show made the game creepy to me. I can’t think of the game Myst without still getting an unsettling, creeped out vibe (Myst is a game where you solve puzzles, there are no other characters – so it’s really not the best candidate for being creepy).

While I was in college my dog and I went to my family’s cabin for a week, and it was glorious. Just Chaser and I hanging out, reading, taking naps, going on walks, eating junk food (me, not her). I look up at that time with the happiest of memories. Except for one day. One unfortunate day.

An X-Files marathon was on TV. I sat down and started watching and oh, they were good episodes. (Weren’t they all!) Chaser was dreaming of the squirrels that were outside eating from the bird feeder (my grandma hated those squirrels) and I was watching episode after episode. Then something unfortunate happened: the sun set. Suddenly those four or five episodes were a terrible idea. Because you know what’s creepy? Episodes that start in the woods somewhere with an alien or some mutated human thing and you’re watching the show BY YOURSELF (Chaser was the opposite of a guard dog) in the woods!

I decided to start watching something else, but the damage was done. I grabbed a golf club and everywhere I went, the golf club came too. Anytime Chaser heard something and her little ears perked up, the golf club was at the ready. It was a long night.

Anywho … I’m now watching this show from the beginning and I really like it. Although it still kind of scares me. One unfortunate, unexpected side-effect is I want to talk about it with people. The problem is most people won’t want to talk about this crazy episode from 1992. This reminds me of a Jim Gaffigan bit.

See you later, blogosphere, I’m going back to The X-Files!

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