The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘daily haiku’

April 2018 Daily Haiku

April 1 (Sunday)
April Fool’s … Easter
Talk about your low-hanging
Fruits of blaspheming

April 2 (Monday)
It’s cliche Monday
So keep your head in the game
You old so and so

April 3 (Tuesday)
First day of daycare
And dad’s just too tough to cry
(He says shakily)

April 4 (Wednesday)
Home with Mom today!
Catching up on important
Goochie goochie goooos!

April 5 (Thursday)
Day two of daycare
Calm today, I glance around
Yep, my kid’s cutest

April 6 (Friday)
Day for the records
Wife and I took turns yacking
And watching kiddo

April 7 (Saturday)
Ate a banana!
Kiddo is likely thinking
“Mom and dad are … off.”

April 8 (Sunday)
Stomach bug is gone!
Taking it’s place: a sore throat
(Looks to sky): “DAYCAAAAAAARE!”

April 9 (Monday)
If salmon were pals
Could never complain to them
They’d be like, “sounds … tough”

April 10 (Tuesday)
My mutating cold
First sore throat, then stuffed up nose
What next, dear thrill ride?!

April 11 (Wednesday)
With tax day soon here
Really makes you stop and think:
I wish I was rich

April 12 (Thursday)
Kid napped at daycare!
Hooray for not coming home
Utterly wiped out

April 13 (Friday)
Do some work, blow nose
Stifle cough, do some more work
Again! From the top!!

April 14 (Saturday)
Nostril pendulum
Swings from left nostril to right
Oh fickle breathing

April 15 (Sunday)
Sleep strategy talk
We have our new plan all in place!
And … Huh! … He slept great

April 16 (Monday)
Dearly beloved,
We gather to celebrate
Weekends. Gone … too soon.

April 17 (Tuesday)
Occasional stops
To appreciate the love
You have in your life

April 18 (Wednesday)
Tasty soup for lunch
And ‘how do we have nothing!?’
Brand soup for dinner

April 19 (Thursday)
Dear Cough That Won’t Die,
… Please die? Pretty please? … With hate,
My angry body

April 20 (Friday)
Texas friend in town
And Colorado showed off
By snowing tonight

April 21 (Saturday)
Kiddo wants to crawl
Anxiously gets to hands, knees
…promptly frustrated

April 22 (Sunday)
Mom, pal do sushi
Dad and son stay home to hone
Vital squawking skills

April 23 (Monday)
Caught in testing hell
The fix was easy and fast
But the test? Brutal.

April 24 (Tuesday)
“Friday already?!”
(Dangerous delusion games
Let’s watch! And judge him.)

April 25 (Wednesday)
Shows having writing drop
No longer good, just ‘zany’
… That’s the US now

April 26 (Thursday)
Watched Thor: Ragnarok
Can we have a movie of
Just Korg hanging out?

April 27 (Friday)
Wife and kid came by
Joined for walk with my work team
Team cuteness way up

April 28 (Saturday)
Hike with the kiddo!
Look at that bird! Those flowers!
Oh. I see. Nap town.

April 29 (Sunday)
Sick kiddo today
Hate his fever and sad self
Love the cuddles though

April 30 (Monday)
104 fever
Huge fan of having kid’s doc
Ten minutes away

March 2018 Haiku

March 1 (Thursday)
Hour long car ride
Nice to wander aimlessly
While the kiddo naps

March 2 (Friday)
Questions seem simple
Until you work with someone
Who is bad at them

March 3 (Saturday)
“Put on whatever”
I pick a fantastic film
“Action movie?!?” (….Duh.)

March 4 (Sunday)
I remember when
Sundays didn’t make me think
Of politicians

March 5 (Monday)
Skipping work out class
To keep working on my code
Yeah, it’s clear I’m cool

March 6 (Tuesday)
Costco with the kid
Tons to look at, lunch to go
For dad’s long nap drive

March 7 (Wednesday)
Rushed to finish code
Then it didn’t make the build
Great googly moogly

March 8 (Thursday)
Trip to library
Lady: “what a cute baby!”
‘scuse, you meant cutest

March 9 (Friday)
Wife got promoted!
Calls for flowers and ice cream!
(Ice cream’s always key)

March 10 (Saturday)
Early morning jog
I feel like I’m the Tin Man
Without his oil

March 11 (Sunday)
Daylight savings time
First time ever I’m for it
Kid now wakes at 6!

March 12 (Monday)
Last bit of wife’s jog
Head outside with the kiddo
Workout ends with grins

March 13 (Tuesday)
Came up with insult
Tell someone they’re a Tuesday
Means nothing, sounds harsh

March 14 (Wednesday)
Bunch of colleagues canned
Go from sad to my old pal …
Hi gallows humor

March 15 (Thursday)
It’s March Madness time
Which sounds like 20s slang for
Aunt Flo visiting

March 16 (Friday)
Is it just me, or
You, too, call guys named Gary
Gare-Bear? (Not out loud)

March 17 (Saturday)
Wild St. Pat’s day
Bought some clothes that were on sale
… And … That’s about it

March 18 (Sunday)
Vacuuming barefoot
One of life’s simple pleasures
Warn, clean (ish) carpet

March 19 (Monday)
No matter the guest
Arrive, greet the cute baby,
Then, to me, ‘oh, hey’

March 20 (Tuesday)
My mom is in town
To watch the kid, and bring gifts
And I got one, too!

March 21 (Wednesday)
Cheated sleep system
Kid woke at 5, rocked to sleep
Cute, snuggly cheating

March 22 (Thursday)
Coworker comes in
Someone discussing her code
Defense mode – ENGAGE!

March 23 (Friday)
My mom left today
She came, saw, and babysat
Then on to next gig

March 24 (Saturday)
The boy found his feet
Both limber, and frustrated
Review’s in: Tastes gross

March 25 (Sunday)
Kids first tooth coming!
An excited mom declares
Let pokes, prods increase

March 26 (Monday)
Wife’s mom is in town
Is my son also a sun?
With doting planets?

March 27 (Tuesday)
Opting out today
Asked for no updates on kid
Prepping for daycare

March 28 (Wednesday)
Reading Handmaid’s Tale
Nothing better than feeling
Depressed before bed

March 29 (Thursday)
Grandpa flying in
Grandparent’s ‘who gets more laughs’
Competition starts

March 30 (Friday)
Got a new backpack
Bulky and insane looking …
But I’m pumped for hikes!

March 31 (Saturday)
Bye to grandparents
Back to a quiet household
(Well, plus squawking kid)

 

IMG_20180331_134627442

Hello awkward ride. Hopefully this weekend I’ll take it for a real test drive.

February Haiku

February 1 (Thursday)
I have a knack for
Searching out complex fixes
Confusing myself

February 2 (Friday)
Attended a class
As coworker likes to say:
“There went that hour”

February 3 (Saturday)
Guys! Guys guys guys GUYS!
I found a new pair of jeans!
Sad. But I am jazzed.

February 4 (Sunday)
For my wife’s birthday
She got a crappy drawing!
(For nail salon trip)

February 5 (Monday)
Wife’s mom coming in
Maternity leave is done
Tears for everyone!

February 6 (Tuesday)
Wife’s first day back – good!
And the kid and grandmother
Had a good day, too!

February 7 (Wednesday)
Fashion show at home
Grandma treated wife and kid
To some sweet new threads

February 8 (Thursday)
Toastmasters event
Open house to get new folks
Embrace speech nerddom

February 9 (Friday)
Time slows to a crawl
Work on Friday afternoon
The bane of my life

February 10 (Saturday)
Snow falling outside
Inside: Harry Potter and
Kid napping on me

February 11 (Sunday)
Would it be so bad
If son can’t sleep sans cuddles?
(Well … at age 10 … yeah)

February 12 (Monday)
My mom is in town
Sadly, not to buy me stuff
But to be yamma!

February 13 (Tuesday)
Yamma’s on duty
Watching kiddo while his folks
Make dolla bills ya’ll

February 14 (Wednesday)
It’s Valentine’s day
When your heart diarrheas
Romance all over

February 15 (Thursday)
Watching Olympics
The pressure they face – unreal
I would be a wreck

February 16 (Friday)
Got home from work to
Hang with my son, wife, and mom
I’m dull, and life’s grand

February 17 (Saturday)
New sleep plan today
I’m prepared for him crying
(And me crying too)

February 18 (Sunday)
Kid sees the pattern
Cries when seeing nap routine
SMART! (and heartbreaking)

February 19 (Monday)
Damen und herren
I ordered German kids books
Slow, steady progress!

February 20 (Tuesday)
Babysitting day!
Kiddo and dad (that’s me!) day
While mom works (sucker)

February 21 (Wednesday)
Happy Valentine’s!
Oh. Oh no no no. You guys.
I’ve made a mistake.

February 22 (Thursday)
Golden age is here
Kid’s happy, sleeps at night and
Is not yet mobile

February 23 (Friday)
Donuts origin:
A way of saying sorry
For boring meetings

February 24 (Saturday)
From a book I read
Pronouns are tough for babies
So it’s Toys “R” Dad

February 25 (Sunday)
Dear Lego careers
I have a job but … you know …
Feel free to call me

February 26 (Monday)
Xerostomia
Sci-fi character? Or a
Word meaning dry mouth?

February 27 (Tuesday)
Day with the kiddo!
Full of mush and affection
And too short cat naps

February 28 (Wednesday)
Worked from home … at night!
I’d be a workaholic
But that sounds awful

 

2017 February Haiku