The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘Du Jour of the Week’

The Loneliest Clone

I am a genetic experiment gone awry
But more than that – I think I’m a pretty nice guy

Just take a chance on me
Take a chance, and you’ll see!

If you could look past my rough exterior
To my superior interior

I think it’d be plain to see
I’m someone you’d like at your next party

The scientist admitted he was drunk when he made me
My fourth arm, for example, appears somehow racist and hazy

I’m a great listener despite having only one ear
But, may I just say, I don’t just listen, I hear

Tell me your stories, your jokes, your woes
I’ll be your devoted audience in smell-proof clothes

A good clone is idempotent
I have claws, fangs, fur, and I’m impotent

That said, a party would be better with my wit
On my search for friends, I’ll never quit

Category:

Du Jour of the Week

Tagged with:

Disney Princes and Their Kinks

  • Guy from Cinderella – feet
  • Guy from Sleeping Beauty – let’s not get into that
  • Guy from Little Mermaid – girls who, when they laugh, sound kinda like a dolphin
  • Guy from Rapunzel – you know that thing where you get a haircut but you never get rid of the hair instead you build like a little home? This guy knows allll about that
  • Guy from Beauty and the Beast – rumor has it when he was first turned into a “beast” he thought, “sweet, I’ll weed out the weird girls who aren’t into animals” … but then I guess he realized, as a beast, how much more difficult it was to use toilet paper so he was a little fed up with the idea of being a beast at that point
cinderella-glass-slipper

Hey girl, lemme see those feet … Awwwyissss

Category:

Du Jour of the Week, Uncategorized

Tagged with:

Apartment Lease Renewal Time

Here at the Gradford Luxury Apartments we love our residents! We know it’s your choice to life here, and as your lease comes to an end we want to make sure you know we want you to stay and continue to be a part of this community.

That’s why we are beginning our “Catch and Re-Lease” program! It’ll include games, social activities, and prizes! All in an effort to make sure you know this isn’t just an apartment complex, it’s your home.

So if you see us approaching you with our rod out – don’t be surprised!

Sincerely,
Soon to be apologizing management

Category:

Du Jour of the Week

Tagged with: