The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘dumb’

Running Thoughts

Are flying bugs actually a bunch of daredevils? When people are out exercising with their mouths hanging open, gasping for air, do bugs gather, dare each other, and then go for it? The goal of course being to fly in to the Sarlac Pit, the Pit of Despair, and then to fly out again.

For the true daredevils, those who have survived a trip into the Pit and come out alive, they go for the next challenge: a quick punch to the uvula (aka The Wrecking Ball), and then out again. This is why so many of us seem to choke on bugs while out and about, they weren’t absent-minded, they were the bravest and dumbest of the bug world’s daredevils.

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I saw a guy wearing a Clippers jersey the morning after they had lost a game (a playoffs game for those of you who are not very basketball savvy). Is this man a dedicated Clippers fan, showing his support for his team despite a loss? OR, is he a very clever and mean Oklahoma City Thunder fan, walking around and delighting whenever an actual Clippers fan sees him and says, “tough loss last night, huh?”

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If I was very passionate about a politician, here’s what I would do. Starting around four days before the election I would get a bumper sticker (or lots) for the main opposing candidate and I would drive like an absolute a-hole. The WORST. I would cut someone off, then switch lanes, slow down and flip the bird, then cut them off again. Why? No reason. People would see me, think “I hate this guy …” and maybe, JUST maybe, if this was an undecided voter I would have swayed them to vote against the candidate I am representing. Or, more likely, they will not vote.

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Du Jour of the Week

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Misery Loves Company

I don’t know what your politics are, but it’s a safe bet these days that you, dear random reader, are a little disenchanted with politicians. Sometimes my mom and I have conversations about people from my generation vs hers, and also people from my grandparents generation as well. After all, my grandparent’s generation, the “greatest generation,” are the standard bearers.

Reading Tour of Duty, which is a collection of war correspondent stories from John Dos Passos during World War II, led me to delight in this line. Because, after all, misery loves company.

You’re a citizen, brother, before you’re a naval officer,” drawled the destroyer skipper. He was from Georgia and spoke in a deep drowsy voice. “As a citizen it’s your bounden duty to take a proper interest in public affairs instead of sittin’ here an’ bellyachin’ about strikes an’ the bunch of stupids we’ve got in Congress. We’re gettin’ the government we deserve because none of us won’t do nothin’ about it.

There you have it, even the greatest generation had it’s problems. What am I going to do about it? Well, step one is to describe politicians I don’t like as a bunch of stupids. From there, well, we’ll see what happens.

Unrelated: This is the first book I’m reading by Dos Passos (or do you just say Passos?) and I like his style. The way he describes some things is very beautiful. And they are thoughts I would never have. He stands in line and takes in the clouds, the trees, the atmosphere of the room, the architecture of the buildings within sight, the clothing of the people around him … I would be trying to guess how much time I have left in the line.

Unrelated two: A ‘deep drowsy voice.’ What a beautiful way of saying ‘this slow-talking dude.’

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Quotes of the Day!

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Attn: Ellen (5/7/14)

Front

Ellen169a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen169b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I’ve got an idea for a great tragicomedy: The Riding Writer. It’s about an author who is also a cyclist. At some point someone asks the Riding Writer for advice for young writers and The Riding Writer hears “rider” … See?

So the answer is “butt cream.”

Funny stuff huh? For the tragedy part I’d say the Riding Writer rides a unicycle. We can team up to write the script if you want. Halvesies on the profits?

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?

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Attn: Ellen

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