The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘dumb’

Attn: Ellen (2/12/14)

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Ellen157a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

 Ellen157b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I think it’s time for me to begin my ultra post modern art career (where I’ll draw simple shapes then write sexual phrases in a sensual font (God knows what that means), like a circle and then “hubba hubba”). The key is not my art, that’s rock solid, but instead to have a nutty art critic love my work, THEN all the other critics need to give rave reviews so they won’t appear to be heind.

Easy peasy!

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?

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Attn: Ellen

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Attn: Ellen (2/5/14)

Front

Ellen156a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

 Ellen156b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I think the most underrated part of football is this: on Mondays when a co-worker says, “how was your weekend?” I can say, “oh pretty good, hung out, watched some football” and that is perfectly acceptable.

When there is is no football I have to think, and I come across perhaps a tad pathetic, “oh pretty good, hung out … I remember looking at the clock Saturday at 3 pm and being surprised it was so late and … Now … I’m here. How was your weekend?”

Goodbye, sweet football, I will miss your go to answer to disguise my delightfully void weekends.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?

Category:

Attn: Ellen

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If I Was Missing a Cat …

Missing Cat Poster

Written

on February 3, 2014