The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘dumb’

Tips for Recent Grads – Your Big Trip!

Here we go, recent grad, as I stated earlier I will now be throwing unwarranted advice your way. I debated not posting this because it is obvious and who am I to give advice? But, I had written it up and didn’t want to just throw it out (i.e. I didn’t want to write something else), so here we go!

Done with college! Done with dense books! Done with learning!

Ok, maybe not all three of those … But at least for a while two of the three may be very true. And what better way to celebrate than with a big trip? ESPECIALLY a trip overseas!

Turns out, we (U.S.A.! U.S.A.!) aren’t loved nearly as much as we love ourselves. Fret not, my friends. On an individual level, there are a lot of us who are very likable people. As a recent college grad you are, hopefully, somewhat intelligent. Put that big brain to use.

Here is some advice (again, apologies if it is obvious or you already know it, you world-weary wanderer):

1. Get a Toronto Raptors sticker and throw that on your backpack.

2. Get a Toronto Blue Jays sticker and throw that on your backpack.

3. Say please and thank you.

4. Imagine yourself going to a friend’s house. You hang out and watch movies and you end up crashing there. The next morning he/she says, “you want some cereal?” and you happily say yes because of course you want cereal, cereal is delicious.

Your friend says “please help yourself” (note the please) and you get to work. Your friend ends up keeping their silverware and bowls and cereal boxes in the LAST place you check for each item. You started logically, “where would I put the spoons if I lived here …” and eventually you gave up on that approach, blindly checking.

Now, does the confusion in a different setup you’re used make the cereal any less delicious? No, don’t be silly. Does the different setup make you want to say, “wow, this is really weird” (but the way you say weird makes it seem like you’re implying crazy or stupid)? No, because you’re not a jackass.

(Note: For dudes, you may say things like this just to be a jackass … Hopefully you know that you can call yourself and your best friend an idiot, but no one else.)

Ready for the shocking jump in my little analogy?

When you go to a foreign country where the culture is very different from what you are used to … Things may seem weird to you. But they are weird in fascinating ways. Your friend has his or her own logic for the spoons being in the drawer closest to the fridge, while you keep the spoons closest to the bowls.

You may meet some people who are cool with the fact that you’re wide-eyed and bushy-tailed. The world is an amazing place and far too few get to see enough of it. These cool people you meet may understand your fascination and you can ask them, “so why DO you keep the spoons in that drawer instead of that drawer?”

Good luck, globetrotters!

SysML, UML, and My Most Ambitious Self

The other day I was at work and my buddy Juicebox and I took a walk around the building. This is a good thing to do when you can’t solve a problem, or the system is down, or you’re going a little nuts.

Juicebox was sharing with me a list that he had made on his phone of all the movies he owned. The list was alphabetized and everything. About halfway through the list I realized it wasn’t him rattling off movies he had memorized, he was reading from a list.

“Wait you wrote all this down?”
“Yeah it was from the other day when I was studying.”

You see, Juicebox, BattleToad (another friend) and I are studying SysML. In the words of Inigo Montoya … “Let me explain … No, there is too much. Let me sum up …”

First came UML, or the Unified Modeling Language. UML, like any other language, has grammar and syntax rules. Unlike the English language, you express yourself with UML via diagrams and pictures. The language is used to help design and explain software (code). Let’s say you work with a bunch of coders, and then you have to explain what you are doing … There’s a chance you will confuse people because you’ll explain something to death or go off on a tangent (favorite hobbies of my coworkers and I).

If you know the rules of drawing, and someone who doesn’t know code knows the rules of drawing, you just draw a picture using this language and wha-la, everyone is wiser for it. Now everyone knows exactly what you’re trying to build.

SysML is Systems Modeling Language. This is an extension of UML (take 1 part UML, add a little dash of … whatever). People thought, “hey this UML is nice – I can explain difficult concepts in a different way … Why are we just using this for code?” And there you have it, SysML is born.

What’s my point?

Today I was reading SysML (borrrrrinngggggg) and I found this bit very interesting (what this sentence is talking about is how you use this high-level language to build languages that are like SysML or UML … only you can modify them to make them specific to your needs like car manufacturing or whatnot):

A language designer will look for a metaclass with some of the characteristics needed to represent the new concept and then add others and, if necessary, remove characteristics that are not required.

I read that and thought, “what an unexpectedly creepy remark.” I think it’s because of the “remove characteristics that are not required” piece. It came to me, “I should write this down and write a short story about this! Some sort of crazy genetics engineer or … Some nutcase who has a bunch of kids … Like a new take on the Island of Dr. Difficult to pronounce last name …”

Then, in a flash of clarity, I realized I would never actually write that. It was just a foolish thought based on my desire to not do homework.

(Pssst. Guess what writing about how I’m not writing is called? Metaprocrastinating! Sorry, I blame the book.)

Attn: Ellen (6/12/13)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres DumbFunnery

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen, 

Today, I will re-introduce myself. 

My name is Brad, and I have a blog called DumbFunnery.com. It is full of silly things, like every Wednesday I have a picture of the postcard I have mailed you. 

I do this (over 100 postcards plus a lot of other oddball posts) because: 

1) I like to write silly things,

2) I hope to one day write silly things at a professional level (i.e. get paid),

3) Maybe you would read a postcard and invite me to talk one day. 

 

Sincerely,

Brad aka

DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?