The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘dumb’

Soooophisticated!

Airplanes, her brother and I went and saw the symphony at the Sydney Opera House. It was great. They performed Beethoven’s 9th, which was a joy. An … ode … to joy.

Anywho.

Before the symphony we decided to go to the Opera Bar to eat a little bit. I decided to have a drink. Airplanes also decided to get a drink. I was going to get a beer, Airplanes was going to get a glass of the Opera Bar Shiraz. Then, inspiration struck. Why not just split a bottle of this Opera Bar wine!? Brilliant!

The key to going from being sophisticated to soooooo-phisticated is having half a bottle of wine. Yes, indeed.

With some wine in me, and noticing a fellow opera frequenter (I’ve never actually seen an opera) who was sporting the sweater tied around his shoulders, I decided a photo op would be nice!

Sydney Australia

Splendid, I say, what what! Am I right?

Notice that behind me, to the right, is a person also holding a glass of some booze. Turns out she was a fellow jokester, and wanted in on the action. She jumped up and gave me rabbit ears, to try and ruin the picture. I had a pretty good laugh at that, so then we staged a sophisticated photo, together.

Sydney Australia

Check out the fella to our right, deliberately not looking at us. This guy was the angry boyfriend. Whoops! Apparently his girlfriend was having a much better day than he was …

***

After the lovely symphony ended, Airplanes, her bro, and I headed outside for some more pictures of the Opera House. How could we not? My motto for this trip was that there’s a good chance I’ll never be back to Australia (do you know how far away that place is!! and how many other places in the world there are to see!!), so I had better take 4 billion pictures.

Thankfully, Airplanes’ brother noticed a great photo opportunity. A woman, with her family, was passed out cold. Happily residing in sleepy town.

Maybe she had decided to take on a full bottle of wine by herself before the symphony. I’m not sure. Anyhow, I jumped at the opportunity and took a spot beside her. (Why? Because I am sooooophisticated!)

Sydney Australia nap

It would’ve been better without the program over my face, but I couldn’t help but laugh.

Category:

Weekly Wacko

Tagged with:

Attn: Ellen (8/22/12)

Front

ellen degeneres star wars

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

ellen degeneres star wars

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

It’s like someone just said, “ham on rye!,” and Princess Leia is thinking “mmm!,” Han is thinking, “with or without mayo?” and Luke – letting his actions speak for him, is thinking, “NOT AGAIN!”

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?

Category:

Attn: Ellen

Tagged with:

Teary-Eyed Tourist

australia light house great ocean roadIt’s windy at the top of a light house, about 100 feet up. And wind makes my eyes water pretty quickly (if I sit at the front of a roller coaster, I come off the ride looking like I have just experienced an emotional breakthrough).

The tour guide was standing next to me.

“The wind makes me cry,” I say, as an explanation for the waterworks.
“Yeah,” she says laughing, then quickly hides the smile and adds, “it really is a beautiful view.”

Wait … crap.

At that point I’m convinced all she heard me say was cry, and she thinks I’m crying because of the view. She thought I was joking at first, then noticed the tears, and wow, we’ve got a real emotional fella over here.

I mention, casually, about three times over the course of the next five minutes, how windy conditions make my eyes water. I can’t mention it enough. And I realize, my over-the-top casual mentions of this have probably confirmed to her that I cry when I see pretty views.

If you visit Australia, and a stereotype for Americans is that we cry at pretty views … well, now you’ll know where it came from.

pun australia

Category:

Pictures, Weekly Wacko

Tagged with: