The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘dumb’

Hey Catchy Oldies! … Wait, What?

There’s an oldies station that I like to listen to. It’s fun, it’s full of catchy songs, it’s a simpler time and … wait. Ew. What were those lyrics?

Hey, little girl in the high school sweater
Gee, but I’d like to know you better
Just a-swingin’ your books and chewin’ gum
Lookin’ just like a juicy plum
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, little girl

Kinda … blech, right? I heard this song and kept visualizing an older man having written it, and then a younger man having sung it. But, thankfully, the internet has pointed me to it being written by someone who was 18 at the time (Johnny Chester) and the singer was 21 at the time (Dee Clark).

Still a little pervy. But that’s quite a bit of classic oldies.

Welp. Enjoy your oldies!

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Du Jour of the Week

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Attn: Ellen (10/31/18)

Front

Ellen373a

 

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen373b

 

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

The Monster Mash.

A ‘graveyard smash’ … What does that even mean!?

Also, Happy Halloween!

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR
@DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

 

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Attn: Ellen

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Ask a Moron: Do I Have Legionnaire’s Disease?

Great question, and I’ve got some great answers.

Are you now, or have you ever been a part of a legion? Then you probably have it. Follow-up question, what is a legion? Again, great question! It’s like a group of guys I think, probably French or into French stuff. Follow-up follow-up, what does it mean to be into French stuff? Do you like cigarettes and looking disdainful, or how about long thin breads? Then yep, you’re into French stuff.

When you hear the word ‘legend’ or ‘legendary’ do you recoil? You probably have legionnaire’s disease. (You are recoiling because the legions that combine to form this evil entity in your body known as Legionnaire are afraid of legendary things happening.)

Wait, you ask, there is an entity in my body known as Legionnaire? I don’t know. Maybe.

How dumb are you, you ask disdainfully? Who’s dumber, me or you, with your stupid legionnaire’s disease?

Am I just some rude jerk? Good question, your mom asked the same … LAST NIGHT.

And now a question for you: why are you walking away from me? Come back. Please. My defense mechanisms are strong and self-defeating and … you’re gone.

LegionnaireFilm.jpg

Do you like this movie? If so, you probably have Legionnaire’s disease.


By Source, Fair use, Link

 

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Du Jour of the Week

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