The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘Ellen DeGeneres’

Attn: Ellen (2/14/18)

Front

Ellen338a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

 

Ellen338b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

This Valentine’s Day prove to someone your love by buying them something nicer than they got you. Then say something sweet like, “I guess I do love you more” and really spice up the night by adding “did you EVER love me or has this all been a sham?” Spicy!

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

 

Attn: Ellen (2/7/18)

Front

Ellen337a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen337b

 

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I feel like, with the right inflection, you can make any last name that ends in an S sound like a verb.

“Julia? Julia Roberts.”

“Tom doesn’t run, Tom Hanks!”

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR
@DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

 

Attn: Ellen (1/31/18)

Front

Ellen336a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

 

Ellen336b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I wonder how many artists who ended up being revolutionary brought early works to their mom or dad, who weren’t revolutionary artist types, and the mom or dad responded with an, “ohhh! … boy! … that’s … yeah! Neat!”

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?